Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Unexpected news

If you have not read my Losing Abbie blog it is all about our failed adoption. Our second failed adoption but by far the most difficult. Losing a child through a failed adoption is different than through death, I am sure, but painful just the same. What makes losing a child in this way so much worse than it could be is the lack of understanding and support. Most people act as though the child was not "yours" to begin with so why do you care? But the truth is that from the moment the birth mother chooses you, you begin to plan and dream about this baby. It is yours in every emotional sense. When things do not work out your heart is crushed. Because of these experiences we have decided not to pursue adoption in the traditional sense but move on to embryo adoption.

And then we got a call. We have had several of theses calls over the years. Someones cousin's girlfriend's sister is pregnant and might want to give the baby up for adoption. The actuality of it working out are slim to none. And then there are the calls that give you some hope. Though we had decided never to consider adoption again we jumped on this opportunity like a fat kid on Twinkies. (I can say that as a fellow chubby!) It is a young girl (15 or 16) and she is due this week! Yes, THIS week! She is very sure in her decision not to parent and her parents are not wanting the child either. The father is deployed and is pretty sure that the baby is his and really does not care to be bothered. Very sad actually. We have said that we would be willing to talk to her and our information will be passed along to her. Now we just wait.

I am doing fine with this news. Not overly excited, not pessimistic either. What will be, will be. A part of me is scared that by this time next year we may have 3 children: one adopted, 2 through embryo adoption. (yes, we will still continue with this transfer as all of this is so tentative) But another part of me is scared that this time next year my arms will still be empty.

I will update you all once I learn more. Please keep us in your prayers as well as this young mother. Thanks!


  1. My prayers are with you!!! Please keep us posted so that we can share in your joy!!!


  2. Wow what big news! I am hoping that it all works out, keep us posted.

  3. Oh Jess... will be praying for you guys!

  4. Oh my! I'm praying for you guys hard core! What a (possible) unexpected blessing!

  5. "Wow" hardly sums up what I'm thinking reading this update!! Thanks for letting us know. And I am so glad that there is not a long time period going on here. That is a tremendous blessing!!



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