Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Friday, November 6, 2009

All things work together for good....

You know, I really dislike hearing that verse. Let me clarify, it is not really the verse that irritates me but the abuse we Christians have done with that verse. We tend to use it in a patronizing way, like a pat on the head or a band-aid. Just something to make us feel better when we really don't know what to say to someone or do for that is hurting or going through a trial.

"Your dog died? Oh, I am sorry. But you do know that 'all things work together for good' "

"I am so sorry to hear that you are have lost your house and have filed bankruptcy. But 'all things work together for good' and God has a reason for this."

I don't know why we feel the need to say this to people. It is true that all things DO work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose, but that is not necessarily what a person wants to hear during their trials. But I digress. The point of this post is not insensitive Christians, but in the truth of that verse. Earlier this year my younger sister announced that she was pregnant. She was not trying nor was she happy about it. This news devastated me! And had someone quoted this verse to me I would have rolled my eyes and maybe even punched them in the nose for quoting it to me. But 10 months later I see that it really did all work together for good.

The first few days after I heard her news I stayed in bed and cried. For the next few weeks I moped and tried to avoid people. I knew that I was headed toward a depression and finally sought help via a Christian counselor. This was one of the best decisions that I have ever made. A few months later I was much stronger emotionally and spiritually and I even got involved in a children's ministry at church, something that I had not done in 7 years. From there things just began to fall into place. I was ready to return to the world of ttc and found a new RE, one that offered an embryo adoption/donation program. By an amazing series of events I was allowed onto their waiting list and shortly thereafter matched with donated embies. During this time my sister had her baby and though it was not easy for me, God helped me through it. Becoming a mommy has changed my sister and we are close now, something we have never been before. This closeness has helped my sister to see our desire for a baby and she has provided the money for us to to do our transfer.

So my sister's unplanned pregnancy has helped me to have a chance at a baby of my own. I think that fall into the 'all things work together for good' category, though I could not see it at the time.


  1. I remember someone saying that same thing to me when we found at the first vas reversal failed. and I cried and cried. Now, ten months later with the second one done, I see how it was God's plan, and I am so thankful to Him for showing me that.
    I am also very careful with saying that to people, instead I might try to encourage them :)

  2. LOVE to hear HOW it worked together for good! Just amazing Gods timing!! So glad your sister and you are so much closer. Awesome that God has used her to help you!


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