Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Junkie I Will Be

As I was sitting here this morning, needle in hand, shaking like a leaf I thought that junkies were insane. How in the world can they shoot up on a regular basis? Needles are scary!! Then I realized that it was not about the needle, but about what it contained. They were driven by the drug encased within that needle, as am I. Their drug gives them a rush, a thrill. Mine will only give me mood swings and hot flashes. But the compulsion to inject it in to me is much the same.

I thought that I was ready to stick myself this morning. How hard can it be, right? Just a tiny needle. Grab, aim and stick. Easy! Not so much!!! Honestly, the stick itself was completely painless. It really was!! But the moments leading up to it were insanely nerve racking.I just sat there with holding a chunk of belly fat, talking to my dog, telling him that this was crazy. I woke the hubby up to experience it with me. I needed his moral support. After 5 minutes of pleading and crying I just did it. And then I was mad at myself for being such a baby over something so painless.

I am glad that the first shot is over. Tomorrow and the months to come will be a breeze. But if I ever decide to become a junkie I will choose a better drug of choice.


  1. YOU DID IT!! I know how you feel. It gets easier every day. The PIO shots are quite a bit tougher but SO WORTH IT!

  2. This is all so exciting for you! Scary, yes, but even more exciting!

  3. FIRST SHOT DOWN!!! It's the hardest one, I promise. I remember shaking terribly and staring at it thinking, "I can't do this!!!" Then I just did it and it wasn't nearly so bad.

    The IM shots - estradiol and progesterone - were tough the first time, too, but now - no big! It will all be worth it!!

  4. I am so fortunate that this and the heparin are the only injections that I will be doing. From here on out it should be easy! Until the mood swings anyway!! ;-)

  5. I'm so not looking forward to the shots but hopefully it'll be just as easy for me as it was for you!

    Not much longer!

  6. Good for you, Jess!!!! :) I am in AWE!! Wow!! :) Way to go!



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