At currently 6 months pregnant you would think that the only thing on my mind would be how happy and grateful I am for this pregnancy. And the truth is I am exceedingly happy for my baby girl! But infertility has left it's indelible mark and it still hurts. Today I read on Facebook that a young woman that used to be in our youth group is pregnant. Again. Five months after giving birth to her daughter. She and her husband are in their early 20's. They are one of four having their second or third child all before the age of 25 in this particular church.
I am not old by any means, but it dawned on me that I will 38 when Maddie starts kindergarten!!! And at least 40 when a second child (God willing) starts school. Now that makes me feel OLD! And all of Maddie's classmates will have young mommies and daddies. How did this happen?? I thought that by now my youngest would be in school by now, not still baking my oldest. And what if this is my only child? I will love her to pieces but I will still be sad that we don't have any more children. It saddens me that while others pop out kids like it is the easiest thing in the world to do, we have to begin planning a year in advance so that we can find a doctor (mine retired), find embryos and save the money.
Okay, enough whining! I just needed to get that off my chest. On to happier news: I PASSED MY 3 HOUR GLUCOSE TEST!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!