Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Bawk!! Bawk~bawk~bawk~bawk!!!

Yes, I am a chicken. I totally chickened out yesterday at church. I did attend last night but when they asked for the mothers to stand I jut couldn't bring myself to do it. My assistant pastor in his wife, who never had children, were sitting in front of us and encouraged me to stand but I just couldn't do it. He told the usher that I was being lazy and to give me a gift. I don't know why it was so difficult for me to just stand. A friend of mine was supposed to be there and she and her husband recently found out that they have fertility issues. I was so conscious of that fact that if I stand she would be sitting in the pew....unable to stand. I just couldn't do that to her. She ended up not attending last night, but I was afraid that she would come in during the recognition that I still couldn't do it. Ahhh, the hormones!!!

Thank you all so much for you support during this! I am sorry that I was not able to take the great advice and to stand. Next year I will stand proudly and accept my place in life as a mother. But this year I am still processing the changes and learning how to be this new person.


  1. It all takes times!! Next year will be great! =)

  2. Wow. You sound like me! I was pushed up by my sweet husband - and then started crying. It was really hard! I totally understand!

  3. How uncomfortable that must have been! I must say at church yesterday, I certainly suffered from "survivor's guilt" - happy to be in "the club" but so burdened by all those that still year to be pregnant and be moms. Our church does a good job of admitting that Mother's Day is simply a hallmark holiday and while yes, we should honor our mothers, it is also a day to remember those hurting - with mother's that have passed or broken relationships or those that long to be moms or have given up children for adoption.

  4. I probably would've chickened out too. :D ♥


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