Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Plump and Pregnant

Being pregnant is an amazing thing. It really is. But the gestational period of a chubby girl is much different than that of a skinny chick. The other day someone said to me "Just wait till you can no longer see your feet!". My response: "You are supposed to be able to see your feet??". I haven't seen my feet in years! Well, I can if I bend over slightly, but not just look down and see them. I doubt if I can even see the ground from this vantage point!!! I rely upon a mirror to tell me if my shoes match! And this is just the beginning of the things that differ. Here are a few more:

Skinny chick: "Look, I am starting to show!"
Chubby chick: "Finally! I can quit sucking it in and just let it tall hang out! I am only 8 weeks and look 8 months, but who cares!"

Skinny chick: The books say that your vagina changes color during pregnancy. So you look and sure enough, it does.
Chubby chick: Really?? Hmm.... Does anyone have one of those mirrors with a long handle that they use to check under a car for a bomb? No? Well, then I will just have to take the book's word for it. I am not even sure my vagina is still down there!!

Skinny chick: she hears: "Wow! You are really 8 months along?? You barely look pregnant!"
Chubby chick: she hears: "Are you sure there is only one in there??"

Skinny chick: maternity clothes show off your cute little bump.
Chubby chick: maternity clothes come in 3 sizes: moo-moo, tent and oompa-loompah.

Skinny chick: she hears: "are you sure that you are eating enough?"
Chubby chick: she hears: "do you really need to eat that?"

Skinny chick: "I can't wait to do maternity photos!"
Chubby chick: "Yes, hello. Do you do maternity photos? You do? Good. Now, can you edit them? Hm, what do I need done? Well, I need some stretch marks erased. And can you fill in the middle of my B belly? And maybe erase the floppy part at the bottom? You can? Great!!! And it will only cost me another $50 bucks. Fantastic!"

19 comments:

  1. Jess, you always make me laugh :D

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  2. Hilarious! I see so much of myself in you! I guarantee you it'll be the same for me if I get knocked up, too! lol

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  3. I agree with Krystal. I don't know you from Adam, but when you type, it could be me :)

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  4. LOL!! OMG too funny.

    It's funny but I have heard it both ways. Like I have heard that I am not big but than other people keep asking if I am carrying twins.

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  5. That is too funny! I never knew that vagina color thing - but I haven't seen mine for a long time either! LOL

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  6. bahahahha....that is hilarious....especially the part about the bomb mirror. I had quite the visual!

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  7. OH MY WORD... I am bawling! Hilarious about the vagina part! Soooooooooo fuuuuunnnnnyyyyy! ha ha!

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  8. this is funny! being someone who was a tad on the plump side when i got pregnant (and had been for years) i can appreciate this. congratulations on your pregnancy!

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  9. I love your sense of humor! You can always make me laugh! : )

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  10. You have a great sense of humor! But you are blessed with your pregnancy, despite these differences.

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  11. OMG - people are looking at me here in the office because I am snorting from trying not to laugh.... you're too funny!

    Congratulations!!!!

    ICLW
    http://daega99-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/

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  12. Oh my gosh - I laughed out loud! I can totally relate as a fellow plump pregnant gal... Luckily I do have more than one in there so I've got a good excuse! I've been struggling lately with the maternity clothes thing too - moo moo, tent and oompaloompa are completely accurate! There is nothing cool and cute for us... bugger.

    ~Happy ICLW!

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  13. This was hilarious! Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck at the big u/s coming up!

    Happy ICLW

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  14. This is too funny and too true!

    ICLW

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  15. Great post! And very truthful. Haven't seen my feet either with DD's turned G's post pg...
    And I totally did the mirror thing when I read about it. HA!
    ICLW

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  16. LMAO!! Too funny and totally true. I sooo needed this laugh. TFS!

    ICLW #33

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  17. Really nice post, liked it!

    ~Stopping by for ICLW #78

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  18. Too funny. I totally identified with this post.

    ~ICLW #31

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