of the type of parents that we will be, we are in trouble!!!! Let me introduce the cast of characters:
Dudley, age 10; aka Dudders, Bubbers, Duddersby, Dudley Do Wrong, Sir Pees-a-lot
Sadie, age 9; aka: Sadie Baby, Say Say, Crack Baby
Winston, age 3; aka: Winnie, Winsters, Winnie Win Win Win
We got both Dudley and Sadie when they were about 2 months old, so their behavioral issues are completely our fault. I cannot blame anyone else, though I wish that I could. I know that you look at them and think "Aw!! They are so cute! What could they possible do wrong??". Well, let me tell ya!
Dudley is now 10 years old and a crotchety old man. He gets snippy if you try to move him. If my hubby corrects him Dudley will turn his back on hubby and ignores him. Dudley is also wanting to exhibit his dominance of his domain. To do this he "marks" anything that belongs to hubby. Including the bed. Yes, you read that right. Dudley marked hubby's side of the bed. Dudley now wears a cumberbund looking thing called a belly band. Hubby has dubbed it a chicken wrap as it wraps Dudley's "chicken". It amazes me of all of the names a man can come up with for winkies!!
Now on to Sadie. Where do I start?!?! She is a little Princess. Or so she thinks. If it is raining she will go outside and place one paw on the grass. If it is wet she returns to the house. Heaven forbid she get dirty!!! And she now has arthritis in her left leg. So she limps. But only when we can see her. She will stand at the top of the steps and whimper until one of us goes and gets her. Once we are no longer looking she will run, leap and play like nothing is wrong. Once she catches us looking at her she limps again. Seriously! She is also an incessant barker. Any noise she hears qualifies for a high pitched, yippy bark. And then there is the issue of making our bed. You have to picture this one to appreciate it. She will lay near the pillow and when I pull up the sheet she jumps off of the bed. Right?? Wrong! She jumps over the sheet and walks to the end of the bed. When I pull up the blanket she goes near the pillows again, until I get he blanket up there and she goes back to the end of the bed. She repeats this with the comforter as well. Crazy dog!!! Oh, and why do we call her Crack Baby? Because when she is excited for a treat or to go o-u-t (I can't say the word around here, we have to spell it) she begins to bounce. He bag legs stay stationary but her front legs bounce. Like one of those cars that bounce. Yeah, like that.
Now on to Winston. He is the good one of the bunch. Maybe because we have only had him for 1 year and have yet to fully corrupt him. His litter box is next to the toilet and if you have to go potty, he has to go potty. Every time. He is also territorial. He thinks that one of the chairs is his and he refuses to move from it. If you move him he meows at you in the most unfriendly manner. And if he wants you to pet him he bites you. Like that makes you want to pet him!!!
At night all three animals sleep with us. If we get up they run to our spot and lay their head down on our pillow. And fake sleep. And ignore your pleas to move. They rule our home. They are boss!!! They ignore us and tell us what to do and when to do it. And we are going to have a child?!?! I cannot imagine how our child will turn out with our stellar "parenting" skills. Watch for us on a future episode of Dr. Phil! Or Jerry Springer!!!