For the past 11 years of trying to conceive I have wondered "why not me?". Why is everyone else around me able to conceive so easily but we cannot? I felt as though I deserved a baby. And I do think that those that would be good parents deserve a baby more than a drug addict or child abuser does. But now that I am pregnant I ask "why me" and not others? I am so thankful to be pregnant, I really am! Incredibly thankful! But I am also humbled by His goodness in answering our prayers in this way. But I hurt so much for many others that are still waiting. And I hurt for those that have recently suffered a loss.
Today I heard that the daughter of a pastor friend of ours lost her baby. The baby was stillborn. I cannot even begin to imagine how she and her husband are feeling right now. Another woman I know informed me that she has cancer and will now not be able to carry a baby. This is after many years of trying and several losses. Another couple we know is about 6 months along and their baby will not survive outside of the womb. All of this makes me wonder what God has planned. How can any of this be for His will? Yet I know that it IS His will and I may never understand it until I get to heaven.
After hearing all of this I feel so underserving and humbled that He has brought us to where we are. For those of you that are currently pregnant, I hope that you realize just how blessed that you are. For those that are still waiting, I pray that your wait is over soon, and until then that you are able to rest in Him. And for those that are hurting, may you feel His loving arms wrapped tightly around you.