I was awakened this morning, early morning I might add, to the phone ringing. It was my mom and she was quite excited. Each Friday on her way to work she buys a lottery ticket, the scratch-off kind. She rarely wins but today she won $50. So she bought another one and this time won $100! She figured that she was on a roll so she tried again and this time won $5,000!! She was giddy with excitement!! I told her that I was happy for her and before we hung up she said "A thousand of that is for your baby thing." I am half asleep and asked "What baby thing?". She said "You know. For your baby. To get pregnant." I cried and thanked her. She cried too. My mom has not been very supportive in all of this and it touched my heart that she gave us money for our transfer.
God has been providing the money for this is in baby steps while asking me to hold His hand along the way. I am learning, slowly but surely! I am not sure if I shared this but one of my blog readers donated the $100 that you see on the ChipIn widget to the right of this post. It was the first donation and it was what I called my hug from God. Him showing me that He has it covered and no amount of worrying is going to help Him. Just hours before that $100 was donated I had a panic attack. A mild one, but one nonetheless. I have been fine since then until last night. I had a bad attack last night and it came out of the blue. I was not even thinking about the money or the transfer. It just hit me. Hard! Then today I realized that both times money was donated I had an attack. Satan is fighting this every step of the way!! But God is bigger and with Him we will prevail.
I don't know if this transfer will work. What I do know is that God is leading us to do it. I am hoping and praying that it is for us to conceive. But if it is not then I will have to trust Him that He knows the reason behind this journey. I thank all of you for sharing this road with us! It makes the load lighter.
Well............there is a glitch in the plan. My mom misread the ticket and did not win. A part of me is laughing and a part of me feels horrible for her. I know that she is disappointed and she has yet to call me (my sister told me). I am sure that she is dreading telling me about it. Honestly, I am fine. A little disappointed but fine. I recognize it as an attack of Satan and I refuse to allow him the victory in this. So were are back a few steps but not out!