Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

An Exercise of Faith

Currently I am under strict orders not to allow anything to stress me out. Do you know what that means?? It means that things are constantly going to go wrong and I am going to have to learn how to trust in Him and not stress out. My hubby is an evangelist and we live by faith. For those unfamiliar with this it means that his pay is in the form of monthly support and love offerings from the churches that he preaches in. The monthly support remains the same each month (which is not a whole lot) but the love offerings vary from church to church. With me developing preeclampsia my hubby has had to cancel most of his meetings this month so that he can care for me and be here for Maddie's birth. This means money will be tight, but we could cut back and be fine. Then things started to break. Lovely!! First it was our compressor fan blade on the fridge. This happened last week and has yet to be fixed as I am waiting for hubby to get home and take care of it. So far it has not been too bad. Actually it has forced me to clean out my freezer and fridge which is a good thing. But I have been unable to go to the grocery store and someone is going for me tomorrow. Sounds great, right? Wrong! There is no place to put said groceries until the fridge is fixed. It is one stupid piece of plastic that I am praying that the local Sears Parts and Appliance place carries in stock. If not we have to order it and it will be 3-4 days before it gets here.

Now today. What could go wrong today? Well, let me tell you! I was walking down the hallway to go pee for the hundredth time and I felt something squishy and damp on the carpet. I thought maybe it was a hairball (ick!) or dog pee (yuck!). Nope! I actually wish that it was one of those! It is my air conditioner. It is leaking. I am really, really, really hoping that it just needs to be cleaned and not repaired. Or heaven forbid quits working!!! It is going to be over 100 degrees with the heat index all week this week. Not a good time for it to go out. We could stay with my mom if worse comes to worse, but she smokes and it gives me migraines. And is stinks!!!

So I am taking a few deep breaths and telling myself that this will be okay. No reason to stress. I am such a fixer though that it is so hard for me not to worry and stress. But for Maddie I will learn to relax. But seriously, couldn't this have all happened a month ago when my BP was normal?? Does it really have to all happen at once? AAAHHHH!!! Life is fun!!

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