Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Support for Donors??

I was reading on a forum and a woman that is wanting to donate her embryos was asking if there was a forum to find support from other donor families. Had she asked about agencies, clinics, etc, I could have provided a wealth of information. But not as much for donor support. This really made me sad! I do not know of many support groups/forums for these couples that are donating a piece of themselves so that others, like myself, can have a chance to be parents. I cannot imagine how difficult this decision must be for many of these couples. They, too, went through the pain of infertility and now they are going through the pain of donation. I am 100% pro donation, but we must recognize that this is a tough decision for many. For someone like myself it is easy to get caught up in the selfishness of "me" and my desires for a child. But I never want to forget how I got here and the sacrifice of another couple. It took 7 of us to give Maddie life: RE, nurse coordinator, embryologist, donor couple and dh and I. It was a group effort. One that Maddie will know all about one day.

If anyone is familiar with support groups and forums for donating couples please let em know. I would not only like to pass them along to the aforementioned woman but I would also like to add a link here. Thank you!


  1. Well, My guess is that on-line support groups will be forming quickly. Bethany Christian Services now includes a $3K charge for couples in their embryo adoption program; this goes for donor counseling specifically. So I know that the reality of needing that counseling is coming. The pain of relinquishing embryos for adoption can be similar to the pain of relinquishing an infant for adoption... a pain that may never go away.

  2. I too would be interested in knowing this since we're considering embryo donation. I've heard good things about Bethany Christian Services. Did you guys go through an agency? Who would you recommend for couples wanting to adopt?

  3. Rebecca, here is a link to a post from a few months ago. It includes all of the methods of Embryo Adoption/Donation, a basic overview of costs and what we chose and why:


    If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask me. You can also email me at jcmulroney @ aol . com

  4. I would LOVE to PLUG the new Embryo Donor/Adoption program that I am currently putting together. It will have all of the "best" practices of each organization/program, be affordable and open to EVERYONE!!! We hope to have it running in September...

    Jess, I know you will be thrilled with the Nurse coordinator... I'm not sure if it is a secret or not, so I will not be specific, but you will be THRILLED!!!

    Bethany currently charges a $4000. match fee to recipients which makes Embryo Donation/Adoption unaffordable to many...

    Here is the only donor support that I know of:

    Please feel free to contact me as well @ JensAdoptionBlessings@gmail.com.


  5. placingparents.org is my Genetic Mom's blog. She's had a lot of frustration in finding support. Her experience has been that a lot of GPs feel shame, so they don't tend to talk about what they are going through and she's trying to encourage dialogue and break the silence. I would encourage you to refer your friend to her--she's willing to talk to anyone. Her goal is an eventual forum where they can all talk to each other.

  6. placingparents.org is the only one that I've seen also. Hopefully she can get a forum going. I can only imagine how difficult it is to donate. I am forever grateful for our donor couple and their selfless gift.

  7. placingparents.org is a great site. The author and I have communicated by e-mail and she is genuine and her heart is very available to EA parents as well as Genetic families. I have her linked in my Resource list. I can never imagine what it is like for the GPs. My heart breaks for them and that is why we all need to lift them up in prayer so much. Even the family that turned us down, my heart broke for them of their struggle to make the right/best decision for their little ones. This is an emotional process for all involved. Great post Jess, to get everyone talking!

  8. I have struggled with what to do with our remaining embryos. It is the most difficult deciscion we have ever had to make. I have searched the web over looking for support from other donor couples. I have had little luck in my search. I hope to find some of the resources other ladies have shared here to be useful in our journey.

    However, I would NEVER take advice or use the resources from a recipient that had issues upholding a contract and was involved in a lawsuit with the donor couple for rights to remaining embryos!!

    Are you kidding me!?! Mrs. "I would LOVE to PLUG the new Embryo Donor/Adoption program that I am currently putting together. It will have all of the "best" practices of each organization/program, be affordable and open to EVERYONE!!!"

    I can't believe you are offering support to donor couples!! Your story scares the crap out of me!!


  9. I work on behalf of RESOLVE.org to promote embryo donation as a viable family building option. I hope you'll check out our new multimedia resource center providing info about family building options, including embryo donation. Please share My Destination Family with the woman who asked about donor support. Here's the link to the how to donate page: http://www.mydestinationfamily.org/how-to-donate-your-embryos/


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