Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

It's a girl....maybe

So I get a call today from my mom. She knows of a little girl that needs a home. It is (now try to keep up, this is confusing) my niece's mom's boyfriend's sister's daughter. Whew! That's a mouthful! She is 9 years old and the mother is an addict. The state is threatening to take her and the mom does not want her in foster care. While foster care is a much better place than where she is currently living, I would hate for her to get lost in the system. Hubby and I discussed it and are willing to take her but only if it is legal. We will not, under any circumstances, babysit her only to return her to the sad situation she is coming from.

Our first step is to wait for contact from the mother. From there we will get legal guardianship. After that we will just have to see. There are a lot of variables such as where her father is and if the mother will be around to allow adoption. We are fully aware that this could end in heartache for us and we could have her for a short time only to have a family member step up and take her. We also know that if we don't attempt to take her she will be lost in the system, bounced from home to home, possibly returned to her mother at some point, and will be more damaged than she already is now. How can we allow that if it is within our power to help?

Please pray that His will is done in this situation. This is a huge undertaking and one that is quite intimidating. We are still adjusting to having a baby in home as it is. Also, I have always said that if we adopt an older child it will be later and someone younger than Maddie as I did not want to disrupt the birth order. But we infertiles know that things seldom go as planned!


  1. So it's your ex-sister-in-law's siter-in-law??? maybe???
    That would be so wonderful of you to help this child. Keep us updated.

  2. Speaking as a foster and adoptive mommy...what an amazing thing you are considering. It is a tricky, emotional road that is WORTH EVERY HURDLE. We could not love our baby girl (okay, she's almost 5 haha) more. Now, we may be adding her bio brother to our family within the next two weeks. Never close a door that God is opening...those doors reveal far greater blessings than the ones we pry open ourselves. Please keep us posted!

  3. Praying for your family! Happy Thanksgiving!


  4. Praying!!!!!!!!!!! How wonderful would that be to have TWO children now! Praying, Praying, Praying!

  5. Praying for all of you through this time. How wonderful that you are willing to do this....for your sake and the little girl's I hope it all comes together.


  6. WOW!!! Really?! WOW!! I don't know what to say but I hope all goes well!

  7. Praying things work out best for the child, which basically means I'm praying you get her :D

  8. I'm praying for you guys and this situation. Taking a 9 year old from a difficult situation is a HUGE deal. It won't be easy. I am reading a book called "The connected Child". It is about adopting/fostering children from hard places. It is really good and I highly recommend it. There is a workbook online for free at www.empoweredtoconnect.com. You can't parent an adopted child from a hard place the same way you parent a biological child (or one you had from the very beginning), so it's hard to find good parenting books. With hard work, your family will do fantastic.


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