Once you have been married a year (sometimes earlier) people begin asking you "the question". You know the one: "When are you two gonna have kids?". After infertility is diagnosed (or suspected) and you begin to tell people that things are not going as planned you begin to get all of the expert advice. From fertiles. People who pop out babies on accident. Go figure!! Sadly, they all believe what they are telling you and this is partly because TV portrays infertility incorrectly. So I am going to debunk some of those myths.
"Relax and you will get pregnant" or "Quit trying"
Do fertiles really think that we started out frantic about having a baby? Unless we knew about our infertility ahead of time or started ttc later in life we are all relaxed that first 6 months to 1 year. We are naive and assume pregnancy will happen soon so we ARE relaxed. We don't begin to worry until we have been trying for awhile. So if "relaxing" worked we would have all gotten pregnant in the first few months. Back when sex was about recreation instead of procreation.
"Just adopt and you will get pregnant."
This actually does happen, but it is rare. Then why do we hear it all of the time? Because it makes for a good story line on television. When watching a show on TV it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy to see the lead character adopt and then get pregnant unexpectedly. The actuality of it happening are slim to none.
"You should do IVF. It works!"
IVF is a wonderful option and works for many, many people. But the truth of the matter is that not only is it very expensive and time consuming, it doesn't always work. Many people assume that it does though and this is because no one talks about the failures. You won't hear someone say "My cousin's husband's sister did IVF 7 times and never got pregnant. They had to file bankruptcy because of it and are now living in their cars. But you should really try it. I hear it works." Yeah, I doubt that you will ever hear that one!
What are some of the other myths of infertility that you want to set the record straight on?