You wake up in the morning enjoying the sunshine. You cuddle with your hubby for a few minutes, thankful for another day together. You eat breakfast, drink a cup of java, let the dogs out and get ready for your day. As you shower you run through your to-do list for the day and are ready to get started. Everything is going as planned and you are getting a lot done. Then it happens. Someone says something so hurtful you stand there, stunned. You can't decide if you should throw something or cry. So you do both.
Today was just such a day. I had so much planned and now I just want to crawl in a hole and hide. I was at my mom's house and my very pregnant sister shows up. As difficult as her pregnancy has been for me I have been trying to maintain a good attitude. I really have. But today my resolve crumbled. She was discussing her upcoming blessed event and asked if she thought the doctor would let both myself and my mom in for the delivery. She said "You want to be in there, don't you?". I nonchalantly said, "I don't know". Then my mother tells me that I should be in there since "this may be the only time you get to see a birth". I acted like nothing was wrong but quickly left to go home and cry.
Why do people think that we infertiles do not realize what we are missing? Not a day goes by that I do not think about babies. I try not to dwell on it but I can't help it, it is always there. And shouldn't family be more understanding than the average person? I don't expect much from the 23 year old at the grocery store that is pregnant with her 3rd child. Or the Duggar wannabe that goes to church with me. But family? You would think that they would be sensitive but sadly they are the worst offenders. And often.