I called the donor mom yesterday and we spoke for well over an hour. It was amazing! We got along very well and we just "clicked". She told us that two of the embryos are ready for us when we are. I was floored! I thought that we would email for awhile and then they will let us know, not choose us right on the spot. She had been praying for the right family and as we talked she felt that this was "right". All of the families that she is drawn to are in the same state as us which is neat. They have 5 embryos and want either two families, one to take 2 and one to take 3. Or 3 families with 2, 2, and 1. We will be getting two. They are excellent grade embryos and the clinic is giving them an 80% chance of survival so that is great. But am I ready for the responsibility of twins???
I am in total shock over this whole situation. We were not looking for this at all. At least not now. I have no idea what God has in mind right now. Well, I guess THIS is what He has in mind for us. Holy cow! How did this happen?!?!? LOL
Right now we will continue communicating and exchanging photos and information. She is going to send me the contract that they used the first time with the other couple and we will tweak it to fit us. They are open to whatever level of openness we want and I am still struggling with that. If it were not for us having Maddie through an anonymous donation I wouldn't even think twice about it all, but having Maddie changes it a bit for us. I never, ever, ever want Maddie to feel left out and we are going to pray about how to proceed. Currently the two couples exchange Christmas and birthday gifts as well as photos and emails throughout the year. I am fine with emails and photos and even birthday gifts, maybe. But not Christmas. I don't want the new child(ren) to get gifts and Maddie not to. I could ask that Maddie be included but honestly, there are already 4 children of this batch and the potential for 5 more. That is 9 kids to keep up with and I just don't have the time to do all of that. So this area may need to be defined. But other than that everything looks great.
So here we go again! AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Jess-
ReplyDeleteI think that if you start now, including Maddie as part of the package, that she won't think of it as strange and she will just have more family who loves her. In other words, as she gets older, you can explain how these babies became part of your family and how you gained a whole new part of your family. Obviously, you will have to navigate Maddie's feelings as she works through them, but, at the end of the day, the more people who reach out to any child, the better.
This is wonderful! I'm so thrilled for you!
ReplyDeleteIt sure is amazing how God works, isn't it?! His timing and His plans are best...I love it, especially when they are a shock and unexpected! Praying for you as you figure out details, and for your little snow babies!!
ReplyDeleteThat is so exciting! What an unexpected blessing.
ReplyDeleteYea! I am so excited for you!
ReplyDeleteJess- this is so exciting! I am getting goose bumps for you!
ReplyDeleteWe have a similar situation with our kids... one has a birth sibling that lives nears us (and we see regularly) and the other has no known birth siblings (yet). It is what it is... But I think as long as you talk about it now when she is young it will not be so strange.
I also think leaving Christmas out is fine too... I am sure that they will understand.
Oh wow....what a great thing for me to log on and read today. I totally agree with you about the openess for one but not the other. I would also find that to be worrisome. We had a similar issue when we adopted our embryos because we did NOT want open because we wanted our child to only have one set of parents. we will be open with her about her origins...but we never wanted it to be that Genna had other parents that sent her things but our bio son didn't have that. I can see how it would be even more complicates in your situation. But...all that aside...I am THRILLED for you. God has a plan...no use messing with it.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
kd
YAY! so happy to read this!!
ReplyDeleteAMAZING news!!! So excited for you!!
ReplyDeleteHow exciting! This is such a wonderful way to build a family. I'm so happy for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for you - I hsven't followed my blogs in a while, but I do remember you were sad when Maddie was 9 mos b/c you wanted to try again and weren't ready after all. So I jump back on this week and find that you have new babies to adopt! Yay!!!
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