Calling it quits!

My cloth diapering days are over. We have had a good run but it is time to say goodbye. I have been CDing about 75% of the time mainly because I have had trouble with night time leaks. And I use sposies when out and about. Maddie is a heavy wetter and needs changed often and I didn't have the patience to cart around a ton of stuff for just an hour or two of running errands. At home we mainly used cloth though. This past week I have used cloth almost exclusively because I ran out of sposies and wanted to try to switch to just cloth. I hate spending money on sposies, really I do! So I gave it the ole college try. And it broke me.

My main issues are leaks and ammonia. First, the leaks. Maddie has to be changed every 1-2 hours. I know that 2 hours is average, but less becomes very time consuming. If it went past 2 hours her clothing was completely soaked. And even when I changed her ever hour I would still find her clothes wet. I have tried Flips (which gave me about 2-2.5 hours) BG AIO, Kawaii pockets, prefolds and covers, adding hemp liners to all of the above, and a few other types of dipes. Nothing really worked. Maddie just pees all of the time!!! And I know that part of the reason for this is that she still takes a bottle. Yes, I know that she is too old. Yes, I know that I need to break her from it. Believe me, I have tried. Every time that I do something happens that makes it even more difficult (she had strep, then the flu, then I had the flu, then hubby was in the hospital, etc). Hubby being in the hospital really made it a lot worse. While she liked it before she became obsessed with it after that. It became her security blanket. But I digress.....back to diapers......

My other issue is ammonia. I have found that I can get rid of it, but not for long. And the way that I know that it has returned is by not only the smell, but by burns on Maddie's bottom. Usually there is just some redness, but this morning she has a blister. :( I feel awful! She went to bed at 7:30 last night (early for her) and woke up at 2 am ready for the day. I had hoped that she would go back to sleep so I kept everything quiet and didn't change her. She was so fussy and crabby and obviously not going back to sleep so I changed her diaper. Her bottom was so red and sore that she cried when I tried to wipe her off. I cleaned her off and lathered her up with coconut oil and used my last sposie on her. Today I will use the ammonia remover, strip and wash the diapers then I will list them on Craigslist.

I am sad to say goodbye to CDing. I gave up on breastfeeding and regretted it. Now I am giving up on cloth as well. I know that it really is no big deal and that I will be happier with sposies, but I feel like I am a failure. It is weird to feel this way. I think that it goes back to all of the ideals I had while pregnant. Even before that too. When it takes you a bagillion years to get pg you have a lot of time to dream about what kind of mom you are going to be, all of the things you want to do. Breastfeeding and CDing were things that I was so certain were right for us. I still think that breastfeeding was and had I not had a migraine for 8 weeks I probably would have stuck it out, but cloth is so not important. But as moms we want to be "perfect" and in my perfect world I used cloth. Silly, I know. But I will get over it!

So today I say goodbye to my cloth. I will miss the money it saved me and the cute fluffy butt it gave Maddie, but it is time. Bye bye fluff!!!