Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

A Gift to Many

I think that we can all agree that a child is a gift. I believe that we are all blessed regardless of whether or not we ever have a child and a child is an added blessing or bonus. Why He chooses not to allow some to have a child or make many wait for years I will never understand, but He does. Maddie has been a gift to me and my hubby. A wonderful gift. But what I never realized was that she is not for us alone. She was given as gift to many.

In our church there are a few couples that never had children. Three of them in fact. And our congregation is only about 200 people. All of these couples are now past child bearing years and none of them really ooh and aah over babies. They work nursery and children's ministries, but they are not usually surrounded by littles. I can understand that. They are at the age that they should be grandparents and are feeling the sting as yet another group passes them by. But with Maddie it is different. They all love Maddie. I think that part of it is that they understand just what we went through. Another part is that Maddie is very loving and friendly. Whereas most babies are shy around people she wants the attention. Last week one of these ladies took her to show her hubby Maddie's pretty dress (and she was looking pretty cute if I do say so myself!). While she was holding her Maddie put her tiny thumb in her mouth and laid her head on this woman's shoulder, content as can be. I saw them just melt and it was then that I saw Maddie through their eyes. During our years of infertility there were a few babies that helped to ease the pain of childlessness. Maddie is doing this for them and has done that for the other couples as well. My Maddie is a gift to them as well. Maybe, for just a moment, Maddie can fill that void left by infertility. And after all that we went through I am blessed to be able to share her with others.


  1. There have been special children who help ease the burden in my life as well. It amazes me how one child can make me feel pain and another is like a balm to my soul. I only hope I will have a child who can soothe people like Maddie does. :)

  2. It's interesting that you say this. After Nicholas and Sophia, and then Alexander, died, we had people tell us that they, too, had delivered preterm babies who had passed away and had never been able to talk about them. Most of them, due to their age, were of the generation that basically said "go have another baby and get over the loss", if they acknowledged the loss at all. I always felt like our open grieving allowed them to do that too, that our babies "became" their babies in a way because they were able to express that grief.

    When Bobby and Maya were born, these couples fell in love with them, as though they were their own grandchildren. I've always felt like they looked at them as their "second chance" for lack of a better phrase, too.


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