Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Big Girl Panties

Being an adult means doing things we do not necessarily like to do. This is one of those times. Some background:

My sister has a best friend since elementary school. A few years ago this friend, T, began dating my brother. Both my brother and T have a child from a previous relationship. T had her son at 17 and my sister has always purchased him a Christmas and birthday gift every year. Once T and my brother began dating we all treated them like family, including them and buying gifts for holidays as well. Sadly, T and her family have not done the same for my niece. They even went so far to get angry at us for not buying T's son as much for his birthday (their birthdays are days apart) as we did for our niece, yet they did not even get my niece a card let alone a gift.

My sister and T are still friends but not as close. When my sister had her baby 18 months ago T did not get her a shower gift and it was 7 months before she even saw the baby. She did not attend my shower, did not get Maddie a gift and has yet to even see Maddie. T makes not effort to be a part of our family. She even stayed home to nap on Christmas and did not stop in at all to see us. My brother came alone and then later went with her to see her family.

Now my brother and T are expecting a baby. Go figure!! You wanna hear the kicker?? She found out when she went in to get her tubes tied! T is not the maternal type and does not like kids (by her own admission). She is having a baby shower in a week. I think that I am invited though I never received an invitation. T told my sister to tell me about it. So I am supposed to attend this shower that I am unsure of the exact time or location, purchase a gift, and smile and be happy about it?? I realize that it is for my niece and I have no problem buying anything for her, but doing anything at all to acknowledge the carrier of this miracle just irks me to no end!!! I would not even attend except my mom is going and does not want to go alone. I would go with other family but they were not even invited. So I have to put on my big girl panties and attend this shower. Bleh!!! Sometimes I wish that I was a kid again nd then I could throw a temper tantrum and not go.


  1. Wow...I commend you on this one...as I don't think I could make myself go in that situation. Good for you for being there for your mom and being the bigger person with T. In the end...you win. :)

  2. WOW! WOW! That would be a tough one for me too! Don't know if I could go, but then again if my mom really needed me to go I might. Good Luck, thinking of you!

  3. Yep... it totoally sucks to be the better person! Way to keep stepping up when you need to! At least it makes a good story! : )

  4. That is a tough situation! I'll be praying for you! I would not want to go either!!! xoxoxo


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