I have been on the infertility road for 11 years. During that time I found myself on the outside looking in. I always felt left out on the mommy talk. They have their own universal language that might has well been gibberish to me. Actually, I understood much of what they were saying, but my responses were largely ignored. I have always loved children and began babysitting at the age of eleven. I worked church nursery and after a semester of college I worked in a daycare for several years and then did childcare in my home. I have always been around children and though in no way an expert, I do know a thing or two about a thing or two. Yet if I piped up and commented during a mommy discussion they looked at me as though I had grown a second head. As though the day you give birth you are given a knowledge that no one else possesses. I realize that I have not raised a child, day in and day out, but I am not a complete idiot. I hated that feeling of always being on the outside of the "mommy club" and looked forward to the day that I was a part of it.
Now that I am pregnant I find that women that have never spoken two words to my infertile self now want to include me in their conversations. And that "club" that I so wanted to be a part of no longer interests me. Yes, I am excited to have this baby, but this baby does not make me important or valuable. I am important because I am me, infertile or fertile, the woman God made me to be. Why am I now able to discuss diapers or formula when I still have done neither? Just because I am going to face these issues means I am now allowed to have an opinion?
Tonight we visited a church and the pastor's wife and I have been friends for a little over a year. I love her to pieces!!! She was my friend before I got pregnant and has been extremely supportive in spite of her very fertile self. She has never treated me differently and I love her for it. I enjoy discussing mommy things with her because it is not the only subject we discuss. My fertility, or lack thereof, has never been an issue.
I think that I am going to start my own club! All woman that possess sensitivity and compassion are allowed regardless of the state of their fertility. Wanna join??