Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Easter cuteness

Yesterday we went to an Easter egg hunt and they had pony rides and a bunch of other activities. Those photos are all on my sister's camera so you will have to wait for those. But here are a few from today as we were on our way to church. And the last one is just a cute one from last week.

Today at church someone told her that her dress was pretty. Her answer? Look at my shoes! And my necklace! So pretty!!! Vain much?? LOL

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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I am frumptastic!

I did it. I have done the one thing I said I would never do. I am frumpy. There. I said it. And I am not happy about it.  I have always said that no matter what I would not become a frumpy mom. Now don't get me wrong I shower every day and I kinda fix my hair and I wear make-up every day. Not a lot, but enough to cover the worst of it. But I have put on about 15 pounds in the last year and now my clothes are snug. I used to enjoy buying clothes but between keeping Maddie in clothes and shoes and saving for another cycle it is hard for me to spend money on myself. And I thought that I would be wearing maternity this summer so I gave little thought to buying new clothes.

 And then there is my hair. I used to take such pride in my hair. I kept it cut, colored and styled. Now I have this unruly mop sitting on top of my head. In my defense I am trying to grow it out and really thought that I would be pregnant right now and it would have grown like crazy. But it is not growing. Well at least not down, but it is growing out. I have curly hair and it is becoming a bit of a fro. Scary!!!

Another issue is my shoes. I lurve shooes!!! Sexy shoes. Cute shoes. High heeled shoes. Brand name shoes. My goal in life is to own a pair of Jimmy Choo heals. And a pair of Christian Louboutin. Ooooh! I love those. But after having Maddie I now have plantar fasciitis. I had to buy a pair of orthotic sandals last year. **hangs head in shame** I now shop for comfort. And each time I wear them I die a little inside. I miss my 3 inch sexy heels.

I am determined to change this! I am a SAHM that cares for 3 other children (all 4 are under 3 years old) so getting out of the frumps is not going to be easy. But I will do it!!! I am also working on losing weight. I am down 8 lbs (can I get a woot! woot!) but have many more to go. And while I can't spend much money on clothes right now while trying to save up for our next cycle, I can weed out some clothes and try to update some of what I have. And it is time to schedule a hair cut. My stylist is amazing and very inexpensive!!! I just need to make the time and get it done. Hopefully I will get out of this frump soon.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Dug.gars.....adopting?

In a recent article by PEOPLE there was an interview with the Duggars where they said that they were praying about considering adopting a child. The article was not in depth and no additional questions were asked so I am unable to form an opinion on the matter. They say that they have so much love to give and they want to share it. If they are considering adopting internationally or harder to place children then my opinion will be very positive. It is wonderful when people open their homes to children that need a place to call home and a forever family. Especially sibling groups, older kids and those with special needs. However, if they are considering the infant domestic adoption route my opinion will be quite the opposite.

I am fairly neutral where the Dug.gars are concerned. I respect that they are able to care for so many children without government assistance. And if they want 19+ kids, more power to them. Though I admit that I am a bit jealous of their baby making abilities. I ain't gonna lie about that.  With that said, even if I was super fertile woman, I would still not want to have that many children. But I have nothing against them doing so. But when it comes to them getting on a waiting list for a healthy newborn I do have something against that. There is a bit of a misconception in this country that there are so many babies waiting to be adopted. The truth is that there are not many at all. There are many, many more waiting families than babies. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with big families. If a couple that needed to adopt (health reasons, infertility, genetic issues, etc) wanted to adopt 5 or even 10 healthy newborns, go for it. But if you have been able to have 19 children then maybe you need to consider sharing that love with children no one else is lining up and waiting for. I know that there are some that may disagree with me, and that is fine. I don't claim to have all of the answers and I would love to hear a contradictory opinion (if said respectfully, that is).

So what say you? Agree? Disagree?

Friday, March 22, 2013

Maddie wants a sibling

My little Maddie has been going through a baby phase. Not acting like a baby, but wanting a baby. There was a baby in the nursery last week (infant less than a month old) and Maddie fell in love with her. She came running out of the nursery asking if she could have one too. When I asked what she wanted she told me a baby. it kind of broke my heart that I couldn't say "Sure! Let's do!". Then it hit me, she may never have a sibling. And if that is the case what will I tell her? I pray that I don't ever have to have that conversation, the one that shatters her little world, telling her that she will never have a brother or sister. She is young now so we have time, but not a whole lot. Kids are inquisitive. I have read of other mothers having to field these questions but never understood how painful it could be.

On a lighter note, Maddie is convinced that she is a doctor. Well, a doctor princess. She is planning on being both when she grows up. Last week when her daddy was in the hospital she wanted to help make him all better so she brought her doctor bag with her to visit him. She was adorable taking his vitals and checking his ears. The nurses got a real kick out of her.

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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Howdy! Welcome from ICLW!

Well, it is that time of the month again. No, not "that" time of the month, but ICLW time.  Not sure what that is? Check out the green button to your left. Up a little. Yep, there it is.

For those visiting for the first time it is nice to meet you. Thank you for stopping by. I am Jess. I have been married to hubby for almost 15 years and have been ttc for all of that time. We do have a gorgeous and precocious 2 1/2 year old born to us through the miracle of embryo donation (adoption). Not sure what embryo adoption/donation is? Have questions? You have come to the right place. Check out my pages at the top or feel free to ask me. Hubby and I are trying for baby number 2.....and maybe three. We had an unsuccessful cycle in January and will be trying again in May.

Feel free to stick around. And if you follow me let me know and I will be sure to follow you as well. And if you have an EA blog and wanted it added to my blog roll on the right just say the word and it is done. :)

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Hubby and EA update

Hubby is coming home today!!! His white blood cell is back down to normal. His leg looks fantastic. He is in great spirits and ready to come home. We start our diet this week. Losing weight will help with his lymphadema which will in turn help him not get infections. It is a long road but we are both committed. We are doing it together and I hope to get 10-15 lbs off before my FET. Hubby swells a lot when he gets this. He has lost over 12 lbs since Saturday! He also was peeing 6 liters in just 12 hours. CRAZY!!

Everything is on track for my FET to be in May. We have about $400 in the baby fund. A hundred of that is from a generous blog reader. You know who you are and I thank you very much for your thoughtfulness and generosity. <3 p="">
I will adding another $50 this week and now that everyone is home and feeling better I will start posting things for sale on Craigslist. My goal is to have $500 by next Friday at the very least. If we can add another $1000 to make a total of $1500 we will most definitely proceed. Though we want all of it raised we will put $500 on credit if necessary. We really don't want to put more than that though on credit. We have the little bit we put on credit last time paid off and we don't want to rack up any more debt than we have to. We are so close to being out of debt and it is nice! So little by little we are getting there. :)

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Hubby is better today!

They admitted him to the hospital last night. His white blood cell count was 19 (should be under 11). They started him on IV antibiotics and today his wbc is 12. This is fantastic progress!!! When he was admitted 4 weeks ago we went to a different hospital than his previous times (his therapists were there and we were wanting him to continue his therapy). This time we returned to his 'regular' hospital and the doctors there think that the antibiotics he was on was not strong enough. He had IV ones there as well and then sent home with 2 weeks worth of oral meds. He finished those just last week and since he is already sick again it is plausible that it is the same infection. With the new antibiotics he is healing much quicker and we are praying that he will be able to come home on Monday. And so far his leg looks really good. No extra swelling and no weeping. He is also in really good spirits which I am thankful for. These infections tend to knock him down and depress him a bit because of how much it sets him back in the weight loss and therapy. But he is doing very well and ready to be home.

Thank you all for the prayers. We both really appreciate it!!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Hubby at the ER

Please pray for my hubby. He just got out of the hospital 3 weeks ago today after having a leg infection and he is going to the ER today because of symptoms of yet another leg infection. Please, please, please pray that he is not hospitalized. He is doing everything he can to stay healthy (therapy, finishing his meds, complying with all of the dr's orders, weight loss, etc) but he is still battling these infections. Each one adds more weight and a larger lymphadema on his leg. We are praying that if he does have another infection that he can be treated at home this time. Running an in home daycare, taking care of a toddler and running up to the hospital every day is very difficult on me as well as Maddie. And it is very discouraging for him as well. Before he left today he filled out some paper work for his life insurance that he received during his last hospital stay. He wanted to make sure that nothing was left undone "just in case".   :'(  Poor guy. I am not worried, but I can understand why he is. So please pray that he is okay and can come home today.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

You can't make this stuff up!

Last month, after my BFN, I developed a UTI. I started meds but after 2 days I got what I thought to be a virus and quit taking them (too sick to care). Then 2 weeks ago I had the symptoms of the UTI again and stated a new round of antibiotics, determined to finish them. And again, 2 days later I felt flu-like symptoms. And guess what? It can be a side affect of Macrobid. Lovely. Just lovely! So quit and called for a new one but I am waiting to see if I have any symptoms before taking it. Between these two rounds of antibiotics I got a yeast infection. That is fun, right? And this Monday I just started antibiotics for strep. Because my life isn't crazy enough! And last night my tongue felt weird. Know what that is? Thrush. Now I just need a yeast infection to round out all of this. And yes, I was eating yogurt. My body is just wacky like that. LOL I need all of this to be over so that I can focus on building the baby fund. I could use a trip to Florida right about now! :)

Monday, March 11, 2013

So I went to gofundme.com.....

but I don't know if I can post it on Facebook. It feels odd to ask for help raising funds for embryo donation. Why is that? Why is is taboo to do fundraisers for fertility treatments but not adoption? I do have a Facebook page just for those that want to follow our embryo donation journey and maybe I will just post it on there and not on my regular Facebook wall. Maybe. I don't know. What should I do???

I have the GoFundMe account saying that we need $2000 but in reality it is now just under $1600. I started with $250 and just added another $50. Then I am making two dozen cupcakes for $25 this week and a cake for $50 next week. I will do our taxes this week and we are putting a little bit from that into it as well. Not much since we have a wall that needs to be replaced in our home and that is super important to do soon. I am praying that we have it all raised in about 6-7 weeks as I just started AF for this month so that means another 4 weeks for April's AF and then in early May we hope to start our next cycle. This week I will list some stuff on Craigslist too so hope to add another $100 to that soon. :)

Friday, March 8, 2013

Support and love needed

A good blogging friend just heard some devastating news today. If you can please stop by her blog and show her some love I would appreciate it. Her name is Liz and her blog is Wishing on a Snowflake.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Operation Baby Fund has begun!

Today I opened up the Baby Fund! We decided to open a separate checking account for our baby fund. Last time we just put it in savings and moved it as needed. This got to be a pain when we wrote a check and it took quite some time to clear (there was no one there that day [Sunday] to run a credit card) and we had to make sure we didn't spend that money on accident. Now I will have a debit card to use and checks if necessary and the only thing the account is used for is the transfer and testing.  It felt GREAT to take this first step. We opened the account with $250 and I have another $50 in Paypal to transfer over to it as well. So $300 to start and $1700 to go.

I am planning a yard sale in mid April and hope to raise another $200 from that. I have a few things to post on Craigslist, but not a lot. Maybe another $100 or so. Still trying to figure out how else we will raise the rest of the money in 2 months. There is still the option of selling hubby's kidney. ;)

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Would you consider transferring 3 blasts?

Now hear me out before you start shouting "NO! DON'T DO IT!". This is just something that I am considering asking my RE about if this particular situation arises and need some thoughts about it before we decide to even broach the subject.

So here is the background: We started with 8 donated embryos, 2 two blasts and six day 3 embryos. The donor mother was 36 or 37 at the time of retrieval and they had a singleton with a fresh transfer. They had a surprise pregnancy and decided to donate the remaining 8 embryos. For my FET the clinic thawed all six of the day 3 embryos and allowed them to grow to blast stage. Two did not survive, two were transferred and two refrozen. Our cycle was not successful and we are left with 4 blasts for future transfers.

Our plan is to thaw two and transfer two. However, if one of those does not survive the thaw they will thaw another one. Herein lies the dilemma. Do I leave the remaining embryo frozen? Or do I request that it be thawed as well? If we do not get pregnant I doubt that we would spend another $2000 for another transfer with just one embryo. If we were local we probably would, but not with all of the travel involved. If we do have a successful pregnancy I still doubt that we would use the last embryo at a later date. Yet giving it back to the clinic scares me a bit as most couples will not want just one embryo and as far as I know the clinic will not mix batches of embryos. So will it sit there, forever frozen? Or do we take the risk and ask for 3 blasts to be transferred? I had posted a few months or so ago that twins scared me but after my failed cycle I would be thrilled with twins and would not complain one bit. But triplets? Yikes!

I am hoping that we don't find ourselves in this situation and the first two thaw beautifully. But I want to plan ahead because I know the reality of it all. Two of them have already frozen, thawed and refrozen already reducing its chances of success as it is. So, if you were in this situation what would you do? Is the slight risk of triplets worth it? Share with me your great wisdom please!!!