Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Friday, June 29, 2012

I hate to see a baby suffer :(

As much as infertility pains me, nothing hurts my heart more than to see a baby suffer. Today I read about a little 3 month old baby girl with severe GERD. We hear this diagnosis and we think, oh, she spits up. But it is so much more than that. Her's is so severe that she has to hospitalized and even has seizures from it. I had no idea that was even possible! What is worse is that her insurance is denying her the medication she needs. How is that even right?? The medication would keep her from going into the hospital as often but they refuse to pay for it. Sadly, her family is struggling and the extra $300 a month is killing them. If you are able to help here is her ChipIn site: Help Everly. And even if you can't help you can pray for this little one.

**I do not know this family personally so donate at your own discretion. I first read her story here.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

it is just not time yet.....

I hate writing that, but it is true. I so badly want another baby. Right now! Or at least be on the waiting list for embryos. Right now. But to add one more thing to my plate would most likely cause me to be institutionalized.  My life is consumed with caring for Maddie, watching my niece every day and taking hubby to therapy (lymphatic therapy for his leg). He started with a month of visits but it has now been extended for 3 months. The therapist is 30 miles away and the session lasts 90 minutes. With traffic we are easily gone for 3 hours. Thankfully I don't take him every day. His friend takes him the majority of the time but is out of town right now so it all falls to me for the next week and a half.

Add to this that Maddie is the poster child for "terrible twos" and there is just no way to that I can add a consultation, testing and dealing with clinics to this list. Right now I have 4 baskets of laundry to fold, a sink full of dishes and a floor covered in toys and books. Hubby will fold the laundry but I have to bring it to him (his leg is in a soft cast and mobility is an issue right now), the kids will pick up the toys but I have to supervise, and the dishes, well those are left to me. I just don't have the energy right now to care let alone actually do anything about it all.

So we continue in "wait" mode. I hate waiting. Detest it really. Yet it is what is best. I am so tired of waiting. Yet I am just plain tired right now so there is no other option.

On a good note though, Maddie is sleeping much better! Not great. Not even really good. But much better. :)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

A hidden danger in our homes

Ten years ago today a friend of mine lost her 18 month old daughter. Was it a disease? No. A car accident? No, not that either. Then SIDS? No, not SIDS. She lost her daughter in an accident that should never have happened. She died from a 100% preventable accident. So why wasn't it prevented? Why didn't this woman protect her precious little child? Because she didn't know. And maybe you don't either. I had no idea until until I learned of Cheyenne's death that this was even possible.

If you have children, watch children or are trying to have children you MUST read this story!! I will summarize it for you but please take a moment to follow the link and read her story. Cheyenne died from a window blind. You are thinking that you have heard about the dangers of window blind cords before so this isn't new. Tragic, but not new. But Cheyenne did not die from the pull cord. Her mom, like all of us, had put that out of reach to protect her baby. No, Cheyenne, while in her crib, grabbed the cord that held the slats together and that was what wrapped around her neck and killed her. You can read the full story here: PFWBS: 10 years ago today.

Please take a moment to read it. Then share it, pin it and tell someone else.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Infertility or not....

parenting a toddler is hard! Nothing prepares you for this! LOL At the end of the day I feel as though I worked a 40 hour work week. Actually, that would be like a vacation. So what is Miss Maddie doing that is driving me towards insanity, you ask? Where do I start?

The other day Maddie kept telling me she had to "poop!!" Her diaper was dry so I took it off and placed her on the big potty. And nothing. I went to put on her diaper and she totally freaked out. I then got out her potty chair and let her run au naturel. She kept sitting on it and nothing...again. So I turned to throw something away and on my way back into the living room I noticed something just wasn't right. It took me a moment to realize that there was a big people size turd on the carpet. Gross!!! She was now wearing the potty chair bowl on her head and squatting and pointing at her poo poo say "Oh no!". How this all happened in less than 30 seconds I will never know!

Then another night she had had her bath and was dressed in a night gown and diaper and laying on our bed watching TV. Hubby and I were in the living room watching our show and here comes Maddie walking through the living room. Naked. Carrying a dirty diaper to her bedroom to throw away in her diaper pail.

Today she put her hands down her diaper and then showed me her poop covered fingers. Lovely!

Not everything is centered around poop though. Oh, no, not at all. This afternoon she dumped her lunch onto her tray and proceeded to smear it all over her body and hair and then tossed it onto the floor. All while I was yelling at her to stop but I was unable to get to her as I was feeding my niece. 

Right now she is sharing chocolate covered raisins with her dad. She is sucking off the chocolate and giving the raisins back to dad.

I love this kid! She keeps me busy, wears me out, and turns my hair gray but I wouldn't change it for the world!!!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Oh, Pinterest! How I love thee!

Have you jumped on the Pinterest train yet? If you haven't you really do not know what you are missing. And that ain't no exaggeration! It is genius! For those that are not familiar (if there are any left out there) Pinterest is a place to find, keep and organize ideas. Like if you see a recipe that you just have to try you can "pin" it to your Recipe board. Then later, when you are feeling creative, you can easily find it again and dazzle your family with your amazing cooking skilz.

My favorite things to "pin" are recipes, DIY projects, party ideas, and craft ideas. I have made several things too and all but one has been great. Are you a pinner? What are your favorite things or people to follow? I did find RESOLVE today on there and they had some nice IF related pics that I pinned.

If you are not a pinner you really should become one. You know you wanna be cool like the rest of us! ;)

Tuesday, June 5, 2012


In the early years of IF it really sucked to see all of my friends have babies before I did, but it was worse when they all started having baby #2, #3 and even #4 while I still waited for my first one. But to have fellow infertiles lap me really sucks!!! Not that I am not happy for them because no one deserves it more than those that have walked the road of infertility, but I am sad for me. Soon after we found out I was pregnant with Maddie 3 fellow infertile friends that I know in real life all announced that they were pregnant as well. It was a sweet time as they had been through a lot. Now ALL THREE of them are pregnant again. Yes, all three. And to top it off the two women at church that had a baby just a few months before I had Maddie have had a baby and one is pregnant. But I expect this from fertiles. It is my fellow infertile sisters leaving me in the dust that reminds me just how jacked up my reproductive system is.