Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Embryo Adoption Awareness Day!

November is National Adoption Awareness month and what better time to bring attention to Embryo Adoption. If you blog, please share this with others. And on the 25th take a moment to post this to your Facebook wall and help spread the word.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Has it really been 4 months??

Wow, I cannot believe that it has been 4 months since I last blogged. I have no excuse other than exhaustion. And a crazy, busy hectic schedule. But really, there is no excuse and I will try to do better.

Here is the main reason on why I have no been around.

Miss Olivia is now 6 months old. She is a teeny, tiny thing at 16 lbs. She is sitting up and rolling everywhere. She is the sweetest little doll. But a bad sleeper! She likes her nummies (breast feeding) and eats every 2 hours at night. But I love her so I will forgive her. :)

Here is the other reason that my life is so crazy.

Miss Maddie is now 4 years old and in her first year of preschool. She is loving it!!! She is a tall, slim rambunctious ray of sunshine. She started ballet and tap dance class tonight and it was a blast watching her dance around. She is an entertainer and thrives on being the center of attention.

Life is hectic but I am loving every minute of it. We are still planning on trying one last time for another baby but the timing is not decided. Originally we wanted to try in the spring, but I don't think that I will be quite ready to stop breast feeding in time to make that happen. I want to focus completely on the girls we do have and not on the children we may have. These two deserve my full attention and I don't want to miss a moment of these early days.

So, how is everyone else doing? Please update me! I feel so out of the loop.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

I am still here

Wow, it has been two months since my last post. I always said that I wouldn't be one of "those" bloggers. You know, the ones that fall off the face of the earth once they have a baby or two. I honestly didn't mean to go MIA, but I really have been busy. Maddie starts preschool this fall (I know, I know! It's hard to believe that she is old enough!!!) and we are trying to fit a lot into our summer. We are going swimming, parks and local attractions. It's been fun!!! Between that and a newborn I feel like there just isn't enough time in the day. It is so bad that Olivia's nursery still isn't ready. Sad. Just sad!!

Everything is going fabulous with Olivia. She is a joy. I have always heard that love doesn't divide, that it multiplies. It really does! I am still in awe of just how much I love these two little people. I love them both so completely, yet so differently. They are polar opposites. Maddie is my outgoing wild child, so full of life and energy. Olivia is calm and laid back. I love watching the two of them grow and become their own people.

We are enjoying our girls, but we also feel like we are missing someone. We are anxious to meet our last two embryos. Yesterday Maddie told me that she and Livvie needed a brother. Then she said that they needed two brothers. Twin brothers. Yikes! But I would take it. I have no idea if the last two embryos will yield a baby (or two) or not, but I won't feel complete until we try. Our goal is to return for them in March.

That about catches you up on our life. I will try to post some pics soon. You really need to see my girlies. They are super adorable!!! :)

Friday, May 16, 2014

Finally, my body did something right!!

Since the whole infertility thing started almost 16 years ago, my body has refused to cooperate. Oh, I ovulated like clockwork which sounds great (and I know many of you wish this were true for you, I know) but a fat lot of good it did since endometriosis destroyed my tube and later damaged ovaries. Then there were the polyps and fibroids. Add to that failed IUIs and basically my reproductive organs are just there for show.

But finally we had success with embryo donation and my body would get with the program, right? Right??? Wrong! I had pre-e the first time and had to be induced. Of course, that didn't go well and I had to have a c-section after 36 freaking hours of being induced and having a migraine. And not eating. I was starving!!! Then I had Maddie and I tried to breast feed. Yet again my body failed me. Maybe not necessarily failed me, but everything was against me. Maddie was very jaundiced and I felt pressure to formula feed her. I was exhausted from the days of induction, not sleeping or eating and the migraine. Then we came home and Maddie was still on a bilibed and very lethargic. She refused to nurse anymore. Then 8 weeks of migraines I finally just gave up. And I regretted it.

Fast forward to this pregnancy. Everything went great with it. No pre-e. I felt great. Life was good. I thought my body was finally figuring this whole birthing thing out. Then we found that I was low on fluid and baby had to come out ASAP. After a second c-section we learn that had I delivered vaginally I would have most likely ruptured my uterus as it was too thin after the first c-section. And my tailbone was in the way and my body just wasn't built to give birth. Soooo not only does my body refuse to conceive, it refuses to let the baby out as well. How screwed up is that?!?!?

This time I was determined to breast feed though. I wanted something, anything that resembled a "normal" experience. Now please don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that those that are unable to breast feed or that choose not to are less than a mother or less than "normal". I am really not. I am completely pro- "do what is best for you and your baby". I really didn't expect to want to breast feed as much as I did. But I did. And this time I contacted a LC and I worked with one in the hospital as well. I wanted this experience. And almost 3 weeks and we are doing it!!! I am so excited to get to nurse this baby. It is so hard and there are times I want to give up, but I am doing it. It is no small victory and I can't help but be proud of little Livvie for allowing me to do this.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Baby Olivia is here!!!!

Olivia Shaye was born 4/29/14 at 4:07 pm via c-section. We were planning a VBAC but she had other plans (I will share that below). She was a tiny little peanut at 6 lbs, 1 oz and 19.5 in long (Maddie was 8.4 lbs and 21.5 in long so this little bit is new for us). She is perfect and healthy and we are all in love with her!!!

 I wanted to take a moment to share how God watched over me and Olivia. It truly is a miracle that everything went so well. This entire pregnancy has been easy. No problems at all. When discussing a VBAC with my OB he wanted to get a growth scan on Olivia around 36 weeks before we decided if it was a good option or not. I had difficulty progressing with Maddie and if this baby was large he was afraid that I would have some of the same problems. At the growth scan she showed to be small, but still fine. Also, the sonographer commented on my fluid levels, saying that it was great.

At my appointment on Tuesday (38w4d) the nurse put me in an available room and it just so happened to be the one with the u/s machine. Olivia has been difficult to find on the doppler so he skipped it and just did an u/s. He would not have done one had things not happened this way (it was a God thing!). He immediately noticed that my fluid was low. It should have been above 10 and mine was 2.4. This was alarming as I had not been leaking any fluid that I knew of and since my cervix was still high and closed there was no way to rehydrate or to induce. I was given 2 hours to get to the hospital and get on the monitor. Her heart beat was strong but she was at risk for the cord wrapping around her neck.

Everything looked great on the monitors and the c-section went as planned. However, the next day I talked to my OB about a future pregnancy (we will need to pay the storage fee soon and don't want to if we were unable to ttc again) and he said that I can ttc again but I cannot, under any circumstance, try for a VBAC. When he got int here he said that my uterine wall was thin where my previous incision was. Had I tried for a VBAC this time I would have almost definitely ruptured my uterus. I would have been the 1% that this happened too and would have put the baby at risk and possibly had to have had a hysterectomy. He also told me that the position of my tailbone was most likely the cause of me not progressing last time and that I probably would have broken my tailbone too.  I am so thankful that God watched over me and the baby and we are both safe and healthy.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

ICLW welcome

Welcome to my little blog! It has been a long time since I have participated in ICLW and I have missed it. I love meeting new people and look forward to reading some new blogs.

Since you are here I will tell you a bit about me. I am Jess and I am 36 years young. Hubby and I got married almost 16 years ago and began ttc right away. I had always suspected that I had endo so I was not surprised when nothing happened. What I was not prepared for was that hubby would have problems as well. At that time we decided to skip fertility treatments and go right to adoption. By 2005 we had had 2 failed adoptions, the last one with us losing the baby after we had her for 3 months, and my heart was broken. So we jumped into fertility treatments.

We had to undergo testing again and my endo was a lot worse. A lot!! And hubby went from low everything, to no. No count at all. From there our options were limited. We tried 4 rounds of IUI with donor sperm and it was a bust. So where do you go from there? IVF with donor sperm? And I might even have needed donor eggs (PCOS) as well. There was no way we could afford all of that so we thought it was over. Then we learned about embryos adoption/donation. It was an answer to prayer!!!

In 2009 we were matched with embryos from a local clinic and were successful on our first try!! Right after our 12th anniversary we gave birth to our miracle baby girl. In 2012 we started the process again and this time it was not nearly as easy. It took a full year, 2 canceled cycles, one BFN and a surgery but finally we got the news we were hoping for. We were pregnant again!! In 6 weeks we will be welcoming baby girl number two to our little family. We have two embryos left and will return for them next year around this time. That will be the end of our journey, no matter the outcome. I look forward to trying again and maybe adding one last baby to our family, but I also look forward to closing this very long chapter of our life and just enjoy life again.

Monday, March 17, 2014

If only I could meet "them", the genetic parents

I saw this on my Facebook news feed today and I didn't have to think twice. I knew immediately who I would choose and it would be Maddie's genetic parents. At the very least her mother. What I wouldn't give for one hour, or even one minute to just say thank you for the gift of Madison Grace. To learn about them. To be able to share that information with Maddie one day. Each and every day I thank God for her and I would love to thank her genetic parents for giving us the chance to be parents.

Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets about doing anonymous embryo donation. Honestly, I don't. How can I regret something that brought me my greatest gift? However, I wish that there was some openness available. Now that the clinic is closed there is no opportunity to meet the people that made Maddie possible. That hurts, I won't lie. And now that we have Olivia due in less than 8 weeks I will wish for a way to contact her genetic family as well. This is not completely off the table as the clinic is still operating, but her genetic family was adamant that the embryos be placed out of state only and I am afraid that they will never want contact even if the option were to be available. It pains me to have to tell my girls that another family is out there sharing their DNA, a family that they may never know. All I can do is hope and pray that we love them enough and give them the security that they need and that one day they will know the love that led them to us and not just the loss. I understand that they will be curious and want to know that part of themselves, but I pray that it is not from a desire to feel loved and connected, but because it is natural to wonder.

So whoever and wherever you are, Maddie's genetic family, I hope that you know that this little girl is loved beyond words and that we are eternally grateful for the gift of her. And for Olivia as well. My two treasures.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Closing this Chapter

I just realized today that I have spent almost half of my life ttc. This summer will be my 37th birthday and will also mark 16 years of ttc. Wow! I can't believe that this journey to motherhood has been such a long one. It took 12 years before Maddie was born and almost 4 before Olivia is here. Hubby and I are discussing when to do our final FET and if all goes well it will be April of 2015. We have 2 embryos remaining and regardless of the outcome it will be our last try. Baby or not this chapter of our life will finally be closed. I am not sure how I feel about this. Honestly, I don't know how to be anyone but this one. Almost my entire adult life has revolved around trying to become a mother. And now to complete our family. Yet I look forward to letting this chapter close and just focus on the children that I do have. No more looking for embryos. No more saving money for treatments. No more comparing medication prices. Just living.

What will it be like to make decisions based on what we do have and not what could be? We can focus on buying a house. We can buy a vehicle that fits our needs and not for the children we might have. One day. But for the kids that we actually do have. We can take vacations again. I can return to work once the kids are in school. No worrying about taking time off for testing, treatments and transfers. Just living in the here and now.

I am scared to close this chapter so completely. Yet I am excited too! I will need to learn how to be this new person but I think that I will enjoy learning. :)

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Not too much longer

I am now 31 weeks. How did this happen?!?!? I feel like it was just yesterday that I got my first beta. But then some days I feel like I have been pregnant for years. Not in a bad way though. I enjoy each and every day that I am able to carry this little one. It took 12 years for our first and another 3 for this one and I cherish each and every single day. It truly is a gift.

I am now seeing my OB every other week. So far my BP is good and no protein in my urine. YAY!!! I will be close to 34 weeks during my next appointment and I am nervous about it as that was when I started showing signs of pre-e with Maddie. But even if it happens we are in good hands. My OB is excellent and God is in control. Though I pray that we have as much time as possible before she makes her grand debut.

The office is almost cleared out and at the end of next week we have a friend painting the nursery. We are going with a blue. Not sure if it is an aqua, teal or a turquoise, but it will be that direction with pink. I plan on making a chandelier (if it turns out it will be gorgeous!!!) and I need to spray paint a mirror and get a few wall decorations. Today our stroller was delivered and tomorrow the crib mattress will be here. I have just about everything else that we will need. Our church will do a a diaper shower so we will get plenty of diapers and wipes for the first month or so, maybe longer. We will do cloth after that. Sp pretty much we are ready for little Olivia. Except for her middle name. We are still struggling with that. LOL

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Baby No Name

Okay, this is not entirely true. Our baby has a first name, Olivia. But I am stuck on a middle name. I mean really, really stuck! We had the name Madison picked out for years and the middle name was to be either Olivia or Grace. We chose Grace so that we could save Olivia for another girl if we ever had one. I am so glad that we did!!! But we never had another middle name ready for another baby girl.

Our dilemma is that Olivia is 4 syllables and our last name is 3 syllables and we want a 1 syllable middle name, 2 at the most. But nothing that ends with an 'a' or begins with a vowel. And a perfect middle name would sound good said with her nickname, Livvie. I call Madison, Maddie Grace a lot and I tend to do that a lot with names. It doesn't HAVE to sound good with Livvie, but it would be a plus.

Here are some of the options and pros and cons of each.

Olivia Joy (okay, just not in love, but it flows with Grace)

Olivia Paige  (hubby's fave, but we live near a major roads named Olive and Page and they are often said together and it is stuck in my head that way.

Olivia Reese (one of my faves, but Livvie Reese sounds like Liver Eese to me, which does not even make sense at all)

Olivia Renee (I like this one, but Hubby isn't sold)

Olivia Shay (maybe, not sure what I think about this one)

Olivia Elaine (not sure if I like that it begins with a vowel or if I like it together)

A few names that are out for various reasons: Ann(e), Marie, Lynn, Dawn.

So, which do you like? Or what suggestions do you have? Help me name this baby girl!!!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

BEGGING for votes!!!

I entered Maddie into a contest for a free photo shoot for her and I really, really wanna win!!! I mean really!!! So if you are on Facebook can you take a moment to vote. It lasts just one week and you can vote each day. She is #69. Thanks!!!


Thursday, February 13, 2014

Happy Third Trimester to Me!!!

I am now a week into my third trimester. Wow, where has time gone?!?!? It is flying by! I had my 1 hour glucose test about 2 weeks ago. Failed it. Did the 3 hour last week and PASSED! But man, it made me so sick to my stomach. It was awful this time. But thankfully I passed and it is over.

Last week I started getting a head cold that turned into a nasty sinus infection that then aggravated a tooth that must have had a cavity. The pain was so bad that I spent most of yesterday in tears. I was kind of scared because infections can cause preterm labor and who knows what else when pregnant and I just wanted to get that sucker out. I needed a root canal or extraction. Bye, bye little tooth! I had it pulled this afternoon and now I am dealing with that pain. The dentist refused to give me any pain meds since I am pregnant so I called my OB and he hooked me up. It is just Tylenol 3 but hey, it is better than nothing. I hate taking all of this crap while pregnant but pain increases my BP and with my history of pre-e I don't want to play around with HBP.

On a good note, I got Olivia's car seat. For FREE! I won it actually. Last week my sister needed to run to Babies R Us and I tagged along. We had no idea that they had some kind of event going on and there were vendors and such there. One table held a raffle for an infant car seat. I didn't even realize what it was for, I just entered it and later my sister told me what it was for. I really, really hoped that I would win and I DID!!! It is a Graco that retails for $140. I don't need a whole lot for the baby, but this was one of two big items that I needed so it was a huge blessing. They also gave out gift bags and my sister and I each got one and it included a Dr. Bro.wn's bottle, coupons, wet wipes and samples. My sister gave me her stuff so two free bottles. Pretty cool!!

I still need to finish the nursery and buy a few more things. I am still working on my cloth diaper stash and that is going slow. I am having a shower at my church and will get disposable diapers which is great and I will use those the first month or two, but I want to get my cloth diaper stash built up for after that. But things are coming along and Olivia will be here is 12 weeks! Yikes!!! So exciting!!!

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Donation vs Adoption

I know that I have blogged about this subject before, but a recent post on the Embryo Adoption Awareness Face.book page has resurrected my thoughts about it all. I want to start of by saying that I am in no way 'against' this agency or any agency. My intent is not to be negative towards them, but to share another side of the whole adoption vs donation debate.

First, what is the difference? Or is there a difference? The answer is yes. And no. Legally speaking there is not such thing as adopting an embryo. It is a transfer of property. The process, however, is different. Adoption is when you go through an agency that will match you with embryos and they require a home study. The 'adoption' can be open, closed or semi-open. For donation it can be a match made by two people or through a clinic which is usually anonymous and no home study is required. As for the terms "adopted" and donated" they are often used interchangeably. Partly because, regardless of which route you take, many people feel that since the embryos are not genetically related that they are adopted. Also, it is because adopted is an easier term to understand. Adoption is also a better term to use when discussing origins with a child created via donated embryos.

The debate comes mainly from those that believe that life begins at conception AND fights for Personhood. My personal stance is that life begins at conception, yet I disagree with Personhood laws on many levels and cannot support it as currently written. The staunch 'donation' side is usually those that do not support Personhood and many RE's, especially those with donation programs.

So which is right, donation or adoption? The answer is both. There is a need for both and each side needs to recognize it. People choose a route for many different reasons. For some, especially those supporting Personhood, adoption is a very important choice and they choose an embryo adoption agency. Others choose the adoption route because of success rates, many available embryos, wanting an open 'adoption', etc. Those that choose donation may have some of the same feelings as those choosing adoption, but choose donation for their own reasons. Some of which are lack of funds (EA programs are typically more expensive), prefer not to do a home study, cannot pass a home study (maybe a health issue, or a bad past that has been overcome, single, gay, or not a Christian, etc), disagree with a home study, or other reasons.

Each side has benefits and flaws. An anonymous clinic program does not offer a way for donors, recipients and children to meet. Children may want to find their genetic family one day but it could be almost impossible. Donors are also not told how many, if any, children are born. Also, embryos can go to several couples and genetic children born with each of them. Some clinics do not offer much in the way of medical history and some will mix embryos for two couples leaving the recipient not knowing which couple it came from. Many of these issues can be corrected quite easily if a clinic wanted to make the changes. An EDA registry would be a great place to start. Also, donors should have access to how many couples the embryos went to and how many children were born. Another things would be to allow donors and recipients to make contact if both wanted to do so. Not through the clinic as this would be a service that many would not have time for, but to allow for an exchange of information. And last, but not least, records should automatically be available to a child once they turn 18 years old.

On the adoption side they could make it more affordable. Embryos Alive gives the option of a home study or a dossier. If more agencies did this more people would use their programs. Also, more matching agencies that allowed couples that were not Christian, gay, or single to utilize their program. I do not, in any way, expect a Christian agency to accept those that do not meet their criteria. They have the right to to refuse those that do not meet their specifications. But secular agencies would help to make embryos available to those that do not meet the current criteria at the established agencies. Lowering fees would help as well. Some of the fees for the agencies are quite high and when you have spent $20k on IVF you may not have the funds to spend another $10k on embryo adoption.

There is good and bad with either route you choose. But having both of these options along with Miracle's Waiting and California Conceptions allow for people to make the right choice for them. It bother me when one side comes out swinging against the other. All fulfill the needs of the donors and recipients. All of them need to exist. But bashing one is not going to help bring about change.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Parenting an EA child

One of the things that I worried about when I was pregnant with Maddie was if it would be odd to not only give birth but to parent a child not genetically mine. Would I see characteristics in her that were glaringly obvious to belong to another family? Would she look so different from us that we would wonder who these other people were all of the time? Would her genetics be a part of our daily life? Maddie is now 3 1/2 years old and I can only laugh at some of those thoughts.

Parenting a child born via embryo donation/adoption is, well, parenting. Normal, every day parenting. Maddie just happens to look just like us. It is almost eery how much she looks like us and hubby's family. She even resembles her aunt's baby pictures. And by living with us she acts just like us. Actually, more like hubby then anything. We are both sarcastic and crack jokes a lot. Maddie does too. She has sarcasm down to a science. She makes songs about everything which is something that hubby does all of the time. Its actually annoying when he does it but she is too cute. Hubby is deaf in one ear and often says "Huh? What? What did you say?". Unfortunately Maddie does this too. But it is more "Huh? What you say? Say it again, mommy". I could go on and on and on. No matter her origins she has morphed into us. Poor kid!!! lol

There are times though that I will see something that makes me wonder where it came from. One of which is her love of horses.  We don't have a love of farms and farm animals. Don't get me wrong, I like animals and all, but I have no dreams to be a farmer's wife. But Maddie loves horses. She has a few plastic toy ones that she constantly plays with. She also rides a broom like a horse. She adores them. I know little about her genetic family, but I do know that they and their extended family have a lot of property and a farm about 2 hours south of us. I believe that she gets her love of animals and horses from them. Instead of this making me sad, reminding me that she is not genetically mine, it makes me smile. I love that she has that from them. I love them for giving her a start in life and giving us the chance to be parents. My only thoughts of them are those of gratitude.

My daily life with Maddie rarely consists of thoughts of her conception. I do think of the wonder of it often, but usually I am just too busy telling her to get clothes on or to quit making a mess to even think about it. Yesterday Maddie told me "Mommy, I am marvelous!". And you know what? She is! She really is! Her genetic parents are marvelous. Her conception is marvelous. And loving her is marvelous. She is just your average toddler and parenting her is truly marvelous.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Tomorrow is her birthday (failed adoption)

In 2003 we were contacted about a woman that was pregnant and going to abort. After talking to us she decided to allow us to adopt. In March of 2004 that fell apart and we said that we would not ever try adoption again. A few months later we were contacted about keeping a baby while the mother was in prison, kind of like a foster care situation. We were 99% certain that this was not for us. We agreed to talk to the mother on the phone and were honest with her, that were were looking to adopt, not foster, but agreed to pray about it. We asked for a week to make our decision. A few days later she called back asking us to adopt. She had a 7 year sentence for statutory rape (Abbie's father was 14 when the 'relationship' started, mother was in mid 30's) and did not think that it was fair to ask someone to keep her for that long. If we chose not to adopt her she would go to foster care. We agreed to adopt and began the home study process and met with a lawyer (this was in September). Things were moving forward until the mother learned that she had a parole hearing in January, right around the time the baby was due. So a few days before Thanksgiving she said that she needed more time. We knew that she was reconsidering because she might get out. We understood that. But we also knew that her chances of parole were almost zero. So on January 11th, 2005 we decided to proceed, hoping and praying that she would either be released and we would only have the baby for a short time, or that she would remain in prison and allow us to adopt.

In late January she was denied parole yet refused to allow the adoption. She was using us and we knew it. We loved this little girl to pieces but knew that we could not keep her. We had her for 2 months when we issued the ultimatum: find Abbie a new home or allow us to adopt. There was a local religious group that did foster care for the prisoners and she had contacted them prior to us and none of their families had been willing to take Abbie due to the length of the prison stay. She contacted them again and they found one family willing to take her. We had lost. My heart was shattered. Yet I knew that it was the right decision. The mother spent 6 years in prison, getting out when Abbie was 5 1/2 years old. Over 5 years living with one family and visiting your mother on the weekends in prison, then ripped out of that family and placed with your birth family at 5 years old. How is that healthy? Its not. But it wasn't our decision to make.

The year after we lost Abbie was a dark year. The good part of it was that while in the process of trying to adopt her, our church began to provide health insurance for us. My infertility issues and thyroid problems had made it extremely difficult to be self insured. Hubby is self employed (in ministry) so there was not a work option for us. Since we needed insurance in order to adopt this was an answer to prayer. It also allowed us to begin the long, arduous journey of infertility diagnosis. We had some prior testing, but not much. So once Abbie was gone we began to jump into the infertility game and though it was a long 4 years it led us to embryo adoption. It led us to Maddie. And now Olivia. But no matter what a piece of my heart belongs to Abbie. I wonder what she looks like. I wonder if she is well taken care of. I wonder if her father has ever tried to see her. I wonder if she suffers from her mother's decisions. And most of all I pray for her to know Jesus one day.

Happy Birthday, my sweet Abbie. May Jesus watch over you and keep you safe. And may one day you know that you have a "mom and dad" that love you even if we cannot see or hold you.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Over halfway there :)

It is so hard to believe that Olivia will be here in 18 weeks. Whoa! It doesn't seem like I am that far along. I feel her move now so it is real to me, but I am not showing much yet so I tend to forget at times. I also feel fantastic which is nice. My migraines have finally subsided which is wonderful. They were so much worse this time and I was scared they would last the entire pregnancy.

Next week I have another u/s. During my previous anatomy scan they could not get a good look at the heart so we will have a look see next week. I am excited since she will be bigger and hopefully get a good picture this time. Then the 3rd week of January I have my glucose test. And around that time I will have reached viability. I will be very happy to reach that mark. Having had pre-eclampsia with my first pregnancy I am nervous about having it again. It hit last time at 34 weeks and the possibility exists that it will happen again and maybe even earlier. My BP has remained steady and normal which is good, but it did last time as well. I will just be glad to get past 24 weeks and every week thereafter.

This week we begin cleaning out the office/storage/spare/craft room. It is a daunting task!! But I want it finished by the beginning of April just to be sure that it is finished before Olivia makes her appearance. I have her bedding set and know how the room will be painted. I am trying to decide whether to sell my dark furniture and buy white or just keep it. I would prefer white but don't really want to hassle of changing it all. We shall see.

We have most of the big items that we need except a car seat and I want a sit and stand stroller. Maddie will be almost 4 when Olivia is born and while she won't need a stroller often it will be nice to have one that she can use as well. Other than that we have most everything. It is starting to get real here, peeps!!!!

I hope that everyone is doing well. And for those getting ready to cycle I pray that you all have great success.