Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Finally, my body did something right!!

Since the whole infertility thing started almost 16 years ago, my body has refused to cooperate. Oh, I ovulated like clockwork which sounds great (and I know many of you wish this were true for you, I know) but a fat lot of good it did since endometriosis destroyed my tube and later damaged ovaries. Then there were the polyps and fibroids. Add to that failed IUIs and basically my reproductive organs are just there for show.

But finally we had success with embryo donation and my body would get with the program, right? Right??? Wrong! I had pre-e the first time and had to be induced. Of course, that didn't go well and I had to have a c-section after 36 freaking hours of being induced and having a migraine. And not eating. I was starving!!! Then I had Maddie and I tried to breast feed. Yet again my body failed me. Maybe not necessarily failed me, but everything was against me. Maddie was very jaundiced and I felt pressure to formula feed her. I was exhausted from the days of induction, not sleeping or eating and the migraine. Then we came home and Maddie was still on a bilibed and very lethargic. She refused to nurse anymore. Then 8 weeks of migraines I finally just gave up. And I regretted it.

Fast forward to this pregnancy. Everything went great with it. No pre-e. I felt great. Life was good. I thought my body was finally figuring this whole birthing thing out. Then we found that I was low on fluid and baby had to come out ASAP. After a second c-section we learn that had I delivered vaginally I would have most likely ruptured my uterus as it was too thin after the first c-section. And my tailbone was in the way and my body just wasn't built to give birth. Soooo not only does my body refuse to conceive, it refuses to let the baby out as well. How screwed up is that?!?!?

This time I was determined to breast feed though. I wanted something, anything that resembled a "normal" experience. Now please don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that those that are unable to breast feed or that choose not to are less than a mother or less than "normal". I am really not. I am completely pro- "do what is best for you and your baby". I really didn't expect to want to breast feed as much as I did. But I did. And this time I contacted a LC and I worked with one in the hospital as well. I wanted this experience. And almost 3 weeks and we are doing it!!! I am so excited to get to nurse this baby. It is so hard and there are times I want to give up, but I am doing it. It is no small victory and I can't help but be proud of little Livvie for allowing me to do this.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Baby Olivia is here!!!!

Olivia Shaye was born 4/29/14 at 4:07 pm via c-section. We were planning a VBAC but she had other plans (I will share that below). She was a tiny little peanut at 6 lbs, 1 oz and 19.5 in long (Maddie was 8.4 lbs and 21.5 in long so this little bit is new for us). She is perfect and healthy and we are all in love with her!!!

 I wanted to take a moment to share how God watched over me and Olivia. It truly is a miracle that everything went so well. This entire pregnancy has been easy. No problems at all. When discussing a VBAC with my OB he wanted to get a growth scan on Olivia around 36 weeks before we decided if it was a good option or not. I had difficulty progressing with Maddie and if this baby was large he was afraid that I would have some of the same problems. At the growth scan she showed to be small, but still fine. Also, the sonographer commented on my fluid levels, saying that it was great.

At my appointment on Tuesday (38w4d) the nurse put me in an available room and it just so happened to be the one with the u/s machine. Olivia has been difficult to find on the doppler so he skipped it and just did an u/s. He would not have done one had things not happened this way (it was a God thing!). He immediately noticed that my fluid was low. It should have been above 10 and mine was 2.4. This was alarming as I had not been leaking any fluid that I knew of and since my cervix was still high and closed there was no way to rehydrate or to induce. I was given 2 hours to get to the hospital and get on the monitor. Her heart beat was strong but she was at risk for the cord wrapping around her neck.

Everything looked great on the monitors and the c-section went as planned. However, the next day I talked to my OB about a future pregnancy (we will need to pay the storage fee soon and don't want to if we were unable to ttc again) and he said that I can ttc again but I cannot, under any circumstance, try for a VBAC. When he got int here he said that my uterine wall was thin where my previous incision was. Had I tried for a VBAC this time I would have almost definitely ruptured my uterus. I would have been the 1% that this happened too and would have put the baby at risk and possibly had to have had a hysterectomy. He also told me that the position of my tailbone was most likely the cause of me not progressing last time and that I probably would have broken my tailbone too.  I am so thankful that God watched over me and the baby and we are both safe and healthy.