Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Maybe it is time to give up

I went today for my lining scan and at first everything was perfect. My lining was right where the RE wanted it (had been too thick previously) and I was so excited. Then the RE (my local one) said that it looked like there was fluid in one of my tubes. My heart just sank. I knew that this was it, the cycle was doomed. And I was right, it has been canceled. I am devastated. I have to stop meds today and schedule an HSG. I have no idea if this will be covered by insurance. I don't even know who I should call to have it ordered. My local RE is one that I only see for monitoring. I called and left a message with both my OBs office and the REs office and hopefully I will find something out tomorrow.

A part of my just wants to quit. Maybe it is time,  I don't know. Hubby is being really supportive and encouraging, but I just don't know if I can keep doing this. I hate throwing so much money away. This time it was for absolutely nothing. I will have nothing to show for this. Well, maybe more medical bills.

I am just sick over all of this. Sick and tired and discouraged. I just don't know what to do. Maybe God is telling us to stop. Maybe not. I just wish I knew.

10 comments:

  1. Praying for discernment. It's hard when you are pushing through for something and just don't know. Praying that God gives you the answers in a clear way.

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  2. I don't hear stop in any of that form the u/s. I hear "wait". Let's see what is going on in your tubes and go from there. Won't the transfer fees/travel arrangements be held for a later date? I know you lost the money for meds/monitoring. I am sorry this is happening. Praying for you all!

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  3. Holy beep this must be frustrating. ENOUGH already!!!!! Man, infertility really does test us, and kicks us when we are down. So sorry to hear this and I wish I could do something to change it.

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  4. I'm so sorry. Canceled cycles are so hard. Praying for you.

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  5. Hugs!!! I am in a similar spot with deciding on whether to stop or continue on!! It is such a difficult decision. Wishing you the best!!! Hope if you decide to continue on that you are able to very soon!!!

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  6. I am soooo very sorry. The IF rollercoaster is sooo very hard. hugs.
    kd

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  7. I am so sorry for this news. I've been thinking about you all day. I wish I could jump through the screen and give you giant hugs. It's just not fair. Takes some time to recoup before making any big decisions....

    ..thinking of you!

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  8. Adoption is spiritual warfare- Satan does not want you to get to those babies. Don't give up! Trust God's timing and keep your keep up. Sorry you have to go through all this.

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  9. I am so sorry,it is so hard when cycles get canceled and you get stuck in limbo for a bit. Hang in there. ""hugs"" -Megan

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