Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Friday, January 18, 2013

I am (fill in the blank)

When dealing with infertility it is easy to focus on the negative. I know that I do. And really, just how much positive is there about infertility? But while infertility itself is not a very positive experience there is a lot of positive that we can learn from it. I have been on this path for over 14 years and I can now look back and see a lot of things that it has taught me. The biggest lesson is compassion. I am more compassionate now. Much more. I grew up attending a church that was horribly judgemental. I was critical of everyone and had little sympathy for those that had heartaches. I am ashamed to even type that out. Meeting and marrying my hubby helped me to grow and change in this area. He is incredibly kind and has rubbed off on me. Infertility helped with the rest. I have learned that we all struggle and while your struggle may differ from mine your pain does not. I still struggle from time to time with having compassion for someone that makes bad decisions that causes their pain, but I am still kind. While I hate the negatives of infertility I am thankful for the lessons that it has taught me.

I am more compassionate.

How about you? What is your answer? I am more________________.


  1. Hmmmm..... on one hand I've turned into a more jealous person. That's not good. I hate it when people take things for granted. Trying to comment on this post has helped me see that.
    I'd have to agree with Ashley. More dependent on God. More aware of how small my perspective is, compared to His. More receptive to the fact that His plan is way bigger than I can understand. How do you put that in 1 word?

  2. Wow, I'm so glad I found your blog. I appreciate your honesty, especially. Like you said, it's easy to be negative, and while I don't want to be, I also need to be real. I'm 17 weeks along with our EA (twins, yay!), but lately I have been crying as I see other pergola moms and realize I'm not pregnant with our own biological children. When I express that conflicting feeling the response is immediately, "no, no, these ARE your babies." I know we will raise them and love them once they are here, but it isn't like other moms. Anyway, it's just nice to hear from someone else who has experienced these same painful things. I am praying for your upcoming transfer!

  3. I was actually thinking about this lately; I'm more compassionate as well. I still have to check myself sometimes, but on the whole I feel like I'm more caring about people because I don't know what kind of battle they're fighting in their lives.


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