Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I am home!!!!

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I am finally home from my transfer! I am soooo happy to be home. This will be long but for those that don't want to read about the crazy, insane trip I will give a quick update first:

On Sunday they transferred two grade 2 blasts. My beta is on the 6th and I will most likely POAS on Friday. In another post I will detail the actual transfer at FIRM for those that are interested. Now onto the craziness!

Last week my hubby and I debated whether to have me drive or fly. I was not keen on flying for several reasons: high ticket price since I only had about 4 days notice, had to rent a car, long flight with layover and possible plane change and a super late flight. But driving was not even an option unless I had someone go with me. Even then my hubby was hesitant because I battle with anxiety when driving in mountains (terrified I will drive off the side). Bad anxiety! So I found a route that avoided most of the mountains (though sadly not all which I found out the hard way) and found a buddy to help drive and away we went. My buddy was a college student from church that was home this semester. She is 21 and did not have a lot of driving experience but this route was easy so she thought it would be fine.

We left at 6am on Friday morning and we planned to drive straight through with both of us taking turns. The problem came when the girl with me got scared and almost hit a car and I was too scared to let her drive  This meant that yours truly had to drive the whole trip. The whole 15 hour trip that we crammed into 18 hours. I drove from 6 am to 12:30 am. We only stopped for potty breaks, gas and drive thru meals. It was so not fun!! The first 11 hours went by very quickly and with caffeine I did pretty well. But the last part went a whole lost slower as I was getting tired and there was traffic. Then we got on 10 east in Florida and while it is an easy highway to drive it is not well lit. At all. And I do not do well without a lot of light at night. So I drove 55 mph and made the trip even longer. I was so concerned with watching the road I missed that my gas light was on, and I have no idea how long it had been on. The problem? We were in a national freaking forest with miles and miles and miles between gas stations. Miles! And some of the exits that advertised a station ended up being closed. So we prayed. And we prayed. And we prayed some more. We had no cell service and would have had to walk to a call box. There was little traffic and it was a serial killers dream scenario. Two women stranded on the side of the road without a cell phone or witnesses. I even heard the scary music that told you to run and keep looking behind yourself. Hubby called but my friend told him that I couldn't talk but to pray that we found a station. We went over 30 miles before we finally found one and barely coasted in to the station. I called hubby and I was shaking so badly I could barely hold the phone.

Once we refueled we finished the last hour of the trip and got into Jacksonville. Did I mention that I hate cities and bridges too? (bridges only at night though) Since it was night time and no traffic I thought for sure that the city driving would be fine. It wasn't. I could see several very long, scary bridges and I began to shake. My legs were warm and my body tingly and I began talking 100 mph. I think that I was on the verge of a panic attack. But we were so close so I pushed through and we found the hotel. I went right to bed but flopped like a fish out of water I was so shaky. The next morning I talked to friends and family and was still talking fast and nonstop. I was dreading leaving our hotel room. I now understand how a person develops agoraphobia. I never wanted to drive again and even walking outside made my feel ill. I wanted to fly my brother out to drive me home right then and there. But I forced myself to leave and go to the beach. It was amazing!!! I have been once before but never got the chance to feel the water and just walk along the beach. It was just what I needed! I finally began to relax and feel human again. I even drove over a bridge and was perfectly fine. We ate lunch at Joe's Crab shack right on the beach. Mmmmm....crab legs! The day was amazing!

We were supposed to leave on Monday and drive straight through again. There was NO WAY that was going to happen! We were able to work it out to do it in two days and that was so much better! Still a super long trip but better. As we were leaving we drove over a very long bridge and I mentioned that I was glad that I didn't have to drive over it the night we got there and my friend told me that I did. I have no memory of it at all! I was that panicky.

 We made sure we had plenty of gas through the forest this time. Though we did stop for a potty break and right in front were 2 posters of missing women (one of 2, one of 3). I did not read the details but wonder if they ran out of gas on their way to Florida and met foul play. It was kind of creepy!!!

I drove as far as I could (till it got dark) and we got a room for the night. I tried to leave at 5:30 am on Tuesday to finish up the trip but it was still too dark so we pulled over and waited for sunrise. From there it was smooth sailing and we got home around noon. I was so very, very happy to get home! And I pray that this cycle works because the thoughts of doing this again totally freaks me out! Though next time I will fly, get a shuttle to the hotel and a cab to the clinic. No more stress for me!!!!

It ended up being a good trip and I really enjoyed myself. I am sure that one day I will laugh about it, but for now I am contemplating never leaving my house again!! :)


  1. Yikes! I can't imagine all of that stress! For me, flying is more stressful than driving, though. So we drove!

    Prayers for you! Hope you get a BFP :)

  2. Oh my goodness! I would have been just as panicked as you!

  3. Oh my goodness! This will just be one funny adecdote of your experience getting knocked up!

  4. Glad you made it through safe and sound.


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