Storage fees

In August of 2012 I had my first consult with my current clinic. Shortly after we chose our batch of embryos and paid the reservation fee which included $400 storage fee. Our plan (that word always makes me roll my eyes) was to use some of the embryos in October, have a baby in 2013 and then pay the storage fee on the remaining embryos for us to use in a year or so. But that 'plan' did not go, well, as planned.

We are on our 4th attempt (2 canceled and one unsuccessful) and I received a bill in the mail today for the storage fees. How did we get here? How did we find ourselves with still no baby and owing even more money? I hated to tell hubby but he surprised me with an "okay, we will just have to pay it". But we won't pay it until after this next transfer. We have 4 embryos and there is a chance that we will use all 4 this time (if one or more does not survive the thaw). My first instinct was to not pay it if we get a bfp. But then I thought about the what if's. What if we have a miscarriage? What if we want to try for another baby next year? If we start over with new embryos our price goes from $1100 to $3400. That is a BIG difference. But I was still irritated with it all until I remembered something I had read recently. Someone on a forum said (about an unplanned pregnancy but it still applies) "never make child bearing decisions on the here and now, but on what you want your Thanksgiving table to look like in 20 years". For the infertile this is not always in our control. Sometimes we do everything that we possibly can and still never bring home a baby. But if I allow the here and now of the financial strain and irritation determine my future I will look back and regret it. If we pay it and keep trying and still get a no, then at least I will know that we gave it our all.

But I still don't like it. Just sayin'.