Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

a year ago today.....

A year ago today my precious little Maddie graced us with her presence. A year ago today the 12 years of infertility finally made sense. The pain didn't end, but it lessened. The moment I heard her cry the years of anger and bitterness fell away, my grieving was over. A year ago today my life completely changed. It no longer revolved around "what ifs" and countless doctor's appointments and unsuccessful fertility treatments. It now revolved around a tiny little princess. She is the culmination of years of praying, thousands of tears, and many years of waiting.

Life as a mother is still a bit foreign to me. There are times I look at this little person and wonder how she got here. I still cannot believe that we have her. Now she is leaving her baby days behind (sniff sniff) and moving too quickly into toddlerhood. She has her own personality. She is such a delight!! She has a wonderful disposition and each day brings laughter to our home. She is trying to talk and cracks us up with her attempt at words. She loves her Kee Kee (kitty) and often gives him kisses. Winston is not happy about this new development and boxes her with his paws (don't worry, he's de-clawed!). She calls for her cousin Lella (Bella) and is quick to say Thank You though I am not really sure how to translate that here! It is gibberish sounding but she repeats me when I say it every time so I am counting it! I love to watch her grow and learn!


There are still tears. But now they are not because my arms are empty but because my heart is full.

7 comments:

  1. What a sweet testament to the love you have for your daughter.

    Happy Birthday Maddie!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Happy Happy 1st birthday Maddie!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Happy birthday to your little lady! So happy that you have her in your lives after so much struggle.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great post! Happy birthday Maddie!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This post made me tear up. My journey was not as long, nor as painful as yours...but oh my do I understand how you feel. From the moment you are faced with infertility, you are in mourning, you are afraid of all the 'what ifs' ...but really it is more the "what if not's" that are the worst. I'm so happy, you, me and countless other couples/women were blessed with the gift of motherhood through embyro donation/adoption. I truely believe God handpicks each child for each parent and I know my Genna and your Maddie are exactly where He intended them to be. Happy Birthday to your beautiful girl.

    kd

    ReplyDelete

I love comments! They make me feel important.