Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Monday, January 31, 2011

It's a conspiracy, I tell ya!

OK, here's my situation. My Mommy has had me for over 5 months. The first few months were great--I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, around the clock. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep thru the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I've talked to other babies, and it seems like its pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 5-6 months.

Here's the thing: these Mommies don't really need to sleep. It's just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep--they just don't need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1--cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, it's hard. It's

hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it's for her own good.

Night 2--cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3--every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights. Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don't give in.

I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night.

I KNOW IT'S HARD! But she really does not need the sleep; she is just resisting the change.. If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it.

The other night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick

to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up with:

My sleep sack tickled my foot.

I felt a wrinkle under the sheet.

My mobile made a shadow on the wall.

I burped, and it tasted like rice cereal. I hadn't eaten rice cereal

since breakfast, what's up with that?

Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room.

Too hot, too cold, just right--doesn't matter! Keep crying!!

I had drooled so much my sheets were damp and I didn’t like it touching me.

I decided I was sick of all the pink in my room so I cried.

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between

feedings in order to reset your Mommies' internal clocks.

Sometimes my Mommy will call for reinforcements by sending in Daddy. Don’t worry Daddies are not set up for not needing sleep the way Mommies are. They can only handle a few pats and shhing before they declare defeat and send in the Mommy.

Also, I like to give Mommy false hope that listening to the sleep sheep with rain noises puts me to sleep sometimes I pretend to close my eyes and be asleep and then wait until I know Mommy is settling back to sleep to spring a surprise cry attack. If she doesn’t get to me fast enough I follow up with my fake cough and gag noise that always has her running to the crib. At some point I am positive she will start to realize that she really doesn’t really need sleep.

P.S. Don't let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you

suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me.


  1. This post was HILARIOUS!!!! It reminds me of Look Who's Talking... This thing should go viral in the land of new mommies.

  2. I just stole this off a post on baby center so I think that we will be seeing this a lot.

  3. Too funny. I have to say our great sleepers turned bad sleepers 2 weeks ago got hit with the no-cry-sleep-solution and, in 4 days, they were sleeping 11 hours! Please, let it keep working!!!

  4. How DARE she try to sleep through the night! Good thing babies are so well networked these days.

  5. Oh so funny says the sleep deprived mommy!

  6. Quite possibly the funniest post I've read in a looooooong time.

  7. oh i laughed so hard i cried!!


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