Hello everyone! Welcome!

Today starts June's ICLW. Wondering just what that is? Follow the link on the left of my page to learn more. For those visiting from ICLW, welcome to my little corner of the world! Are you wondering if this blog is interesting? Should you follow it? Let me tell you, I think that I am pretty darn interesting!! But then again I am a bit of a narcissist.

Still on the fence about following me? Here is a little about me to help you decide:

My name is Jess and I have been married to my hubby for 12 years next month. I feel way too young to have been married this long!!! Hubby and I began ttc just a few months after we got married and like all naive newlyweds we were certain that it would only take a month. Two at the most. HA! I think that joke was on us!! Even before the year mark my impatient self jumped on the infertility roller coaster and began testing. I could list all of the tests that we both had but that would take you an hour to read. And let's face it, it is just not that interesting!! But the results were b-a-d! ME: endo, mild PCOS, blocked tube (with good ovary) and damaged ovary (with blocked tube, go figure!). And if all of that wasn't enough hubby started out with a low sperm count to slowly morph into a count of zero. Big fat goose egg!!!

So what's a girl to do with poor quality eggs that can't get through and no sperm?? You adopt! Or at least you attempt it. Two disastrous attempts later we are back at square one. So our next step was to try donor sperm. Guess what?? That didn't work either. By this time we had been married 10 years and I was in my 30's and my clock was ticking loudly!! We were down to our last hope, IVF with donor sperm and possibly donor egg. The thoughts of it made me squeamish. To spend that much money and still no guarantee of a baby?? We just couldn't afford to do that and began thinking about maybe trying adoption again. We ended up doing the best of both worlds: Embryo Adoption! Not only would we adopt a child but I would have the opportunity to carry the baby. How awesome is that??

In June of 2009 we began our journey of embryo adoption. I had surgery in July and had to wait 3 months to heal and for the call for an embryo match. Two weeks before I was physically ready to begin we got "the call". We accepted the embryos and things moved very quickly from there. On 12/12/09 we had two precious little embryos placed in my womb. Six days later I saw something I had never seen before: Two Pink Lines!!! Another 9 tests and 2 blood tests confirmed it: We were PREGNANT! Sadly, one of our little embies did not survive but the other one is a determined a little bugger. I are currently 30 weeks pregnant with an adopted little girl. I am still in shock in awe! After 11 years of trying I had honestly given up all hope. We are forever thankful for the couple that selflessly donated their precious little snowflakes to us.

That about catches you up to date. Right now we are waiting on our little girl and I am learning how to fit in with fertiles. In my heart I am still the infertile gal sitting on the sidelines. I doubt that I will ever be completely comfortable in the fertile world and honestly, I am not sure if I want to be. I have the heart of an infertile, born from the pain and sorrow that only fellow infertiles can ever understand. Finding a new normal is not easy!