Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

about ready to give up

This last week has been infertility hell. I have been calling and emailing the clinic where the embryos are located, trying to get answers about what I need to do to get started. This clinic does not do a lot work with a lot of out of state patients and keep telling me what I need to do "there". What started out as being one trip there for the FET has turned into 2-3 trips, one of which for a hysteroscopy. On top of that there is a $315 consultation fee, a $1500 admin fee, $1000 extra for using donor embryos instead of my own, $400 for the psych eval, and up to $1900 for the hysteroscopy. If I had the procedure done here I could most likely get it covered by insurance. But they won't give me a clear answer as to whether or not I can do it here. I have to talk to 2 different people and never get a clear answer.

Last night I finally received a response from one person and she mentioned that she was getting "conflicting information" about donating from the donor couple and that I needed to contact them. I have no clue what this "conflicting information" means and immediately emailed the donor couple for answers. I have not heard back which is a red flag as she always responds quickly. We are giving this till Friday and then we email them to let them know that we will no longer pursue this situation.

I think that right now I would be fine if it ended. I am not happy about working with this clinic nor the rising costs. I have already begun calling clinics and that is a whole other issue. Some have a crazy long wait list, others have ridiculously high fees. We were so fortunate with our first one as it was $4000 total, including meds. To pay $7000 is killing me! There is a clinic in CA that is $4500 including meds and that is the one we are leaning towards at this time. I know of a few that went there and had great success and they work a lot with out of state patients.

So right now we are in a holding pattern waiting for answers. Bleh!


  1. If it was *me* I would probably move on as well.

    This clinic obviously doesn't work much with out-of-town patients. What is your actual cycle going to be like if this is how the preliminary stuff is going?

    My clinic is extremely adept at handling long distance cycling--they even contact my monitoring clinic for me so I just have to call them to set up the appointment time if they don't call me first. It's smooth and easy and doesn't add stress to an already stressful situation. I also actually have one person (a ARNP) assigned to me as my go-to person, so communication is usually quick and easy.

    There are clinics that know how to work long distance, and this clinic obviously isn't one of them.

  2. Diane makes a good point about how stressful it would be during the cycle if they cannot communicate well long distance.

    Just keep in mind that God already knows who and where your baby is and He will lead you there and provide the funds. I'm so excited for you getting moving with another transfer!

  3. Yeah, that doesn't sound like a very good situation. Too many red flags. Praying that God gives you direction in this situation.


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