I have been compiling information about our upcoming FET with donated embies. The donor couple wants us to use their clinic and I am fine with that. What I am not fine with is some of the requirements they have and the costs associated. Their FET cost is $3450 but they require a $1500 administrative fee when using donated embryos. While I am fine with paying for any extra work required due to using donated embryos I think that $1500 is a but steep. Many clinics have no such fee. I am not even sure what it is for. There is very little extra paperwork required and no extra testing so it seems unnecessary to me. The other thing is the psych evaluation. They want one on us which is fine but they only allow it done in house and it is $400. Since they want to make sure we are not some crazy psycho and capable of caring for a child as well as emotionally okay with an open donation I am fine with this. But they are trying to decide if the donor couple needs one as well. They did one less than 2 years ago for the first set they donated. If they have to do it again I am thinking that we will be required to pay that as well. So all of this will increase the cost to almost $5000 and that does not include meds. Insurance pays most of that so it should be around $300 which is not bad at all. And then there is the travel and any testing that insurance does not cover. So we are thinking about $6000.
While going through some of my previously compiled EDA info for someone else I found an email from a clinic in CA. They have available embryos and their fee is $4500 which includes legal fees, FET and meds. I would still have to travel but it would still save us around $1000. So now I am conflicted. Our current situation fell in our lap. Seriously, it did! How do I look a gift horse in the mouth, ya know? But a thousand dollars is still a thousand dollars. So I am making a pros and cons for each.
Donor couple's clinic:
PROS:
*embryos already available and waiting for us
*about a 10% higher success rate than other clinic
*open donation which means child(ren) can meet siblings
*this situation was handed to us, like God handed it to us
CONS:
*at least $1000 more
*may require 2 visits which means more travel costs
Other Clinic:
PROS:
*save $1000+
*they work quite a bit with out of state and only require one visit
*anonymous which is what we have already done
CONS:
*10% lower success rate
*up to 6 month wait
*only anonymous available (either way is really fine with us)
While no one can make this decision for us but I am curious to know how much the financial aspect of it all plays a part in your decision making. Either way we go God will have to provide the money for us and $1000 in the grand scheme of things really is not that much. But if the cost keeps going up with the first clinic we may have no choice but to back out.
So do you make your decision based solely on financial reasons? Or do success rates mean more? Or is it all about which place "feels" right? Share with me your wisdom!!!
A year ago, I would have said, yes. But now that the year has passed and I look back and see how God led us down the path we are on (which ended up being MUCH more money than we were initially willing to spend), I have to say, no.
ReplyDeleteYou really have to pray about it and see what God is speaking to your heart. And then keep asking Him to guide you every step of the way...
We never really felt like we had a choice. I contacted all the clinics within driving distance, and only one (that responded) even had a donor embryo program. So that's where we went.
ReplyDeleteOur costs were similar to what the more expensive clinic is quoting you except our one-time program participation fee was $2500 (since raised to $4000 I've been told--eek!). But our clinic takes care of all the legal side of things in house. I guess I don't understand what the $1500 is going towards in your case. They're not offering legal services or anything. It's odd to me the way they are standing there like a middle man when they really aren't part of the matching/donor process.
Go with your gut. God uses your gut to guide you. Though you can still negotiate some of those fees.
ReplyDelete$1500 sounds crazy when they are not providing a service - matching, counseling, communication between couples, legal services etc. Most programs with fees provide many or all of these services in exchange for the fee.
We considered costs when going forward with EA, but since we wanted an open adoption we were limited to certain programs. I saved money on the home study by using an agency about 100 miles away. Even with the travel costs they were cheaper than the local agency.
Maybe you could ask the clinic what that fee is for? I would be curious since they are not matching you or providing legal.
ReplyDeleteFinances do have to be a factor b/c you have a daughter to consider. However, if you feel that the other situation was provided by God then He will provide the extra funds and you should go with that. Easier said than done I know. But if you pray about it and discuss with hubby I am sure you will come to the right decision.
I've been interested in EA since before my fertility struggles started, and I appreciate how open you are with the process. Sometimes it's hard to find information on the entire process.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, yes, finances do influence my decisions, but I'm still in the early stages. It's such an individual and personal decision that it's hard to know what I would choose in your position. Ultimately though, you need to feel that your choice was the right one in your circumstances.
Maybe you can negotiate the fees with the clinic? Or maybe the donor couple would be willing to let you have the transfer at a different clinic? That's a tough call. All I can say is pray about it and let God guide you.
ReplyDeleteThere is a fine line in your situation and I'm glad you listed out pros and cons. Finances (and lack thereof) are important and but more important is what God is planning for you. There has got to be a pulling or pushing you feel coming from inside that is leading you a certain way.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to finances, I think having a better success rate is important...as well as the waiting time to be matched. Good luck.
I think reality requires us to consider finances, but it is not the only consideration.
ReplyDeleteYes, unfortunately finances have dictated our ART journey - they held us up while we were waiting to do IVF, and we won't be trying for 2nd child via IVF, as the money is just not there.
ReplyDeleteIn your case, I would say go with the situation you've already been presented with - it fell into your lap for a reason. Good luck.
Something else I just thought of is what if this cycle doesn't work out? Will going to the more expensive clinic affect your ability to try again?
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying it won't work the first time (I hope and pray that it will!), but as someone who is approaching her FOURTH transfer at a clinic with phenomenal success rates, I have learned that things don't always go as planned.