What options do you have for your embryos?

Anyone that has been through the trial of infertility know just how difficult it is. Each step is agonizing. What steps do you take? Should you wait? Is adoption the path we should choose? Is it time to see an RE? Which RE should we see? Is IVF right for us? How many embryos should we transfer? Every question we ask revolves around bringing a healthy baby home. Too often we do not put a lot of thought into what will happen if there are embryos that we are unable to use. Yes, we understand that the possibility is there, but it is not the main focus when in the midst of fertility treatments. But when everything is over and the dust clears we are forced to face the decision of what to do with the remaining little embryos.

There are a few options available to couples faced with this dilemma. You can discard them, donate them to research, leave them frozen until you pass away and let someone else handle it, or donate them to another couple. Most people know about all of these option except for the option to donate them.  I have not been through IVF and have not been faced with this decision. However, I am the recipient of donated embryos and wanted to help spread the word to those that may be considering their options.

What to do with your embryos is not an easy decision for most and definitely not one to be taken lightly. Each couple will need to do what is best and right for them and their family. But during this time please take a moment to consider donating your embryos to couple that would otherwise never have the chance to have a child. There are several ways in which to donate:

*Anonymously through your clinic. Some clinics have programs that will accept your embryos and allow another patient use them. You will not receive any information about the recipients nor have any contact with them. This option is good for couples that would prefer not to know what happens or if there are any children that result from the procedure.

*Find a couple yourself through Miracle's Waiting. This site is matching site where placing and recipient couples can find each other. All legal contracts and transferring of ownership are done by the two families. Some people also look to blogs, message boards and other forums featuring embryo adoption or donation and will find a recipient that way. You can choose that the recipients complete background check and provide references or even have a current home study, though this is not as common. People looking to find embryos through MW or forums are usually hoping to keep costs down as it is much less expensive than using the agencies that find a match for you.

*Embryo Adoption. Snowflakes, the NEDC and Cedar Park are organizations that will allow you to be matched with couples looking to "adopt" embryos. Adoptive families undergo a home study and you can choose an open, semi-open or closed situation. All embryos will be shipped to the recipient family's clinic (unless you request they travel to your clinic) except with the NEDC as they do the transfers at their clinic.

*Embryos Alive will find a recipient family for your embryos. Recipient couples must do a home study or a dossier before being chosen.

There are more clinics and programs out there but these are some of the more popular ones available and a good place to start when looking for information on donating your embryos. If you are reading this then you are most likely considering this option and I want to thank you for that regardless of what decision you make. I have an amazing (almost) 2 year old that was from an anonymous donation through our clinic. She is amazing and I cannot imagine life without her. To the right of my blog are a list of blogs that pertain to embryo donation/adoption. Feel free to read them and learn more about couples that grown their family through the selfless donation of other couples.

Clinics with EA/D programs?

I have a list of clinics that I know for a fact that have EA/D programs and am trying to keep it updated. I have found a few more clinics to add but if you know of one that is not currently on my list (link above) please post it here or email me at agreateryesblog @ gmail.com. Please include as much information as possible: Name, location (or link with that information), costs, if a home study is required,  approx. wait time and if it is for current patients only.

I know that there is a sit that has a list of clinic but I have found that list to be incredibly inaccurate.  Finding clinics is so difficult and I am trying to compile a list to make it easier for those that are just beginning the process. Thanks!!

EA still so foreign??

I am a member of a forum called Baby Center. They have a forum on there called the Debate Team. Why I read there I will never know, but I do. Today someone posted a question about whether you can be pro-life and pro-IVF. I was surprised, no shocked, at how little people really know about IVF and embryos. Some of the posts there stated:

*with IVF you have to destroy unused embryo
*there are just not enough families for all of the embryos
*and somewhere in there Octomom came up. Like she is a reputable source!
*some had no idea that you could even donate embryos

I am pro-life and pro-IVF and a Christian. Yes, you can be all three. However, I think that if you choose to do IVF you need to do so responsibly, knowing that there may be embryos left over and have a solid plan on what you will do with them. I posted on there to educate them on the fact that while yes, there are many, many, many embryos currently in storage most are going to be used by the genetic parents. And that there are more waiting families that embryos available for adoption/donation. And that just because someone has 6 embryos does not mean that all will survive the thaw or implant.

Do you find that people still don't understand EA? Or even IVF which has been around quite awhile? Do you try to educate them?

I hate to see a baby suffer :(

As much as infertility pains me, nothing hurts my heart more than to see a baby suffer. Today I read about a little 3 month old baby girl with severe GERD. We hear this diagnosis and we think, oh, she spits up. But it is so much more than that. Her's is so severe that she has to hospitalized and even has seizures from it. I had no idea that was even possible! What is worse is that her insurance is denying her the medication she needs. How is that even right?? The medication would keep her from going into the hospital as often but they refuse to pay for it. Sadly, her family is struggling and the extra $300 a month is killing them. If you are able to help here is her ChipIn site: Help Everly. And even if you can't help you can pray for this little one.


**I do not know this family personally so donate at your own discretion. I first read her story here.

it is just not time yet.....

I hate writing that, but it is true. I so badly want another baby. Right now! Or at least be on the waiting list for embryos. Right now. But to add one more thing to my plate would most likely cause me to be institutionalized.  My life is consumed with caring for Maddie, watching my niece every day and taking hubby to therapy (lymphatic therapy for his leg). He started with a month of visits but it has now been extended for 3 months. The therapist is 30 miles away and the session lasts 90 minutes. With traffic we are easily gone for 3 hours. Thankfully I don't take him every day. His friend takes him the majority of the time but is out of town right now so it all falls to me for the next week and a half.

Add to this that Maddie is the poster child for "terrible twos" and there is just no way to that I can add a consultation, testing and dealing with clinics to this list. Right now I have 4 baskets of laundry to fold, a sink full of dishes and a floor covered in toys and books. Hubby will fold the laundry but I have to bring it to him (his leg is in a soft cast and mobility is an issue right now), the kids will pick up the toys but I have to supervise, and the dishes, well those are left to me. I just don't have the energy right now to care let alone actually do anything about it all.

So we continue in "wait" mode. I hate waiting. Detest it really. Yet it is what is best. I am so tired of waiting. Yet I am just plain tired right now so there is no other option.

On a good note though, Maddie is sleeping much better! Not great. Not even really good. But much better. :)

A hidden danger in our homes

Ten years ago today a friend of mine lost her 18 month old daughter. Was it a disease? No. A car accident? No, not that either. Then SIDS? No, not SIDS. She lost her daughter in an accident that should never have happened. She died from a 100% preventable accident. So why wasn't it prevented? Why didn't this woman protect her precious little child? Because she didn't know. And maybe you don't either. I had no idea until until I learned of Cheyenne's death that this was even possible.

If you have children, watch children or are trying to have children you MUST read this story!! I will summarize it for you but please take a moment to follow the link and read her story. Cheyenne died from a window blind. You are thinking that you have heard about the dangers of window blind cords before so this isn't new. Tragic, but not new. But Cheyenne did not die from the pull cord. Her mom, like all of us, had put that out of reach to protect her baby. No, Cheyenne, while in her crib, grabbed the cord that held the slats together and that was what wrapped around her neck and killed her. You can read the full story here: PFWBS: 10 years ago today.

Please take a moment to read it. Then share it, pin it and tell someone else.

Infertility or not....

parenting a toddler is hard! Nothing prepares you for this! LOL At the end of the day I feel as though I worked a 40 hour work week. Actually, that would be like a vacation. So what is Miss Maddie doing that is driving me towards insanity, you ask? Where do I start?

The other day Maddie kept telling me she had to "poop!!" Her diaper was dry so I took it off and placed her on the big potty. And nothing. I went to put on her diaper and she totally freaked out. I then got out her potty chair and let her run au naturel. She kept sitting on it and nothing...again. So I turned to throw something away and on my way back into the living room I noticed something just wasn't right. It took me a moment to realize that there was a big people size turd on the carpet. Gross!!! She was now wearing the potty chair bowl on her head and squatting and pointing at her poo poo say "Oh no!". How this all happened in less than 30 seconds I will never know!

Then another night she had had her bath and was dressed in a night gown and diaper and laying on our bed watching TV. Hubby and I were in the living room watching our show and here comes Maddie walking through the living room. Naked. Carrying a dirty diaper to her bedroom to throw away in her diaper pail.

Today she put her hands down her diaper and then showed me her poop covered fingers. Lovely!

Not everything is centered around poop though. Oh, no, not at all. This afternoon she dumped her lunch onto her tray and proceeded to smear it all over her body and hair and then tossed it onto the floor. All while I was yelling at her to stop but I was unable to get to her as I was feeding my niece. 

Right now she is sharing chocolate covered raisins with her dad. She is sucking off the chocolate and giving the raisins back to dad.

I love this kid! She keeps me busy, wears me out, and turns my hair gray but I wouldn't change it for the world!!!