Legal contracts for ED?

Okay bloggy friends, I need some help! For those that have gone the donation route (but not in a clinic program per se) what did you do about legal contracts to transfer the property of the embryos to you and your hubby? A few months ago I was contacted by someone considering donating their embryos to us. They were out of state and we would either have to travel to their clinic or ship them to us. At this time nothing has come of this situation but on the off chance that we do find embryos outside of a clinic program, what do we do? Do we ask the clinics what they require? Contact a lawyer? If using a lawyer what kind of fees are we looking at? I just want to be prepared and I know that this information would be great to have for those considering ED. Thanks!!


If you have answers and are not comfortable answering publicly please email me at agreateryesblog@gmail.com.

Please, let me cry for you.

I was reading tonight on a forum about a woman that is ttc her second child and she has been trying for 3 whole months. Aw! Don't you just want to cry for her?? Her first child took almost a year, but she wasn't really trying then. Most responses were women giving her hugs and lamenting with her that it took then 6 month for baby #3 or 4 months for baby #4. WOW! Then the tears really began to well up thinking of how hard it must be for all of them. **insert eye roll** One poster told her "Hey, it could be worse. It took us 10 years". Good for her!!

Now, before you call me a heartless witch, I am not. Okay, maybe a little when it comes to whiny woman that have no clue just how difficult it can be. Once a woman hits the one year mark my heart goes out to them and I am quick to offer support. Did I wait longer? Yes. Does it make my pain more? No, it doesn't. Infertility is infertility. If you are diagnosed at 6 months or 6 years it still hurts. But if you are not charting or temping at the very least and don't get pregnant after 3 months YOU ARE NOT INFERTILE! Yes, you are allowed to be impatient. Yes, you are allowed to hope that it goes faster. What you are not allowed to do is whine about.

I wanted to post a snarky comment but decided that it would just feed the stereotype of the crazy infertile. So I blogged about it instead!

It's not always sugar and spice

I love being a girl, usually. I love the frilly clothes, high heeled shoes and designer purses. And though I am no weakling and can do most things myself I am not above using my feminine wiles to get what I want. Though, admittedly, it was much easier to do 10 years and 80 pounds ago! But there is one thing that I hate about being a girl: lady business. There is nothing fun about an annual exam. Nuttin'! Stirrups are uncomfortable, the gowns ugly and the the snoopy looking tool they use.....yikes! Oh, and they weigh you to! Oh the injustices of it all! Yet, it is oddly comforting after not seeing my Ob/gun for almost a year. We used to spend so much time together and now, well, I kinda missed him. I think I missed what going there represented the last time: baby. Pregnancy. Yeah, that is what I missed.

So my appointment went fairly well. I talked to him about my endo symptoms and we are trying birth control again, but this time Nuva Ring. I am really bad about taking daily meds so pills were not for me. Hopefully the NR works and keeps the pain away. While he was checking out my business he said that my left side felt "full" and wants me to have an ultrasound next week. This will be bittersweet as the last time I did this was so see Maddie, not to look for a cyst. What makes it worse is that it is the drink-a-gallon-hold-your-pee one and I hate those! Especially now that they endo has taken over my bladder and I pee myself easily. Fun, fun, fun!!!

I have that done next week and then we discuss what to do if it shows something. I am not opposed to surgery as then he can attack the endo. But I would rather it be nothing. I hate jumping back on this roller coaster again, trying to stay one step ahead of a disease that is determine to annihilate my reproductive organs. But I want to protect my uterus for future bambinos so I will do what I must!

Has anyone used the Nuva Ring? Like it? Hate it? Was it pricey?

I have SPI

Are you wondering what SPI is? A diagnosis of some kind? A 6th sense? A new toy or gadget? Nope! I have Secondary Primary Infertility. We all know what SI is, and we all know what PI is. So what is SPI? It is the combination of the two. I am infertile....again. For the second time. In a way I have SI, but in a way I don't. Most that move onto the SI diagnosis are those that gave birth after conceiving a child whether it be naturally or with intervention. Their own biological child. Which means that the possibility exists to conceive a second child. With those that have to use a donor (embryo, sperm or egg) you do not necessarily fit into this category as their is no chance of having a biological child.

And even those that have conceived a biological child can still fit into this category. All of the emotions and struggles associated with PI are still there, the difference is you now have a child to help ease that pain. I am glad for it, really I am! But I still wonder where I fit in. I am still infertile yet some infertiles feel like they no longer relate to me because I have moved on. And fertiles want to forget that we ever struggled. But I will never forget it, nor do I want to. To forget negates the journey. My child is a miracle made even more special because of all that we went through to get her. Do I want to remember the pain? No, not really. But that pain reminds me to pray for all of those still waiting. It also reminds me just how special my daughter is, especially when she is trashing my house and smashing crackers into the carpet.

I think that it is these feelings of displacement that makes me love the online IF community. You all "get" it. And even if you don't you still support those that are struggling. And as I go through round 2 of IF I am thankful to have all of you!

Um, no, I don't steal kids

Most of us have seen the news about the missing baby in KC, MO. I know that we are all touched by this story, worried for this little baby. I was recently talking to someone about it, discussing what we think happened. The other person stated that they hoped it was some childless couple that took her. Now, I will admit to seeing a baby left unattended in a shopping cart and thought about how easy it would be to snatch them. Most honest infertiles have thought this. Never seriously, just a fleeting thought. And had Lisa been taken from a grocery store or out of her front yard, maybe that could be said. But what we never, ever think about doing is plotting and planning to break into someone's home in the middle of the night to steal someone's child. That is what a crazy person does, infertility just being the catalyst to their actions. They were sick before infertility, not the other way around.

The media has done a great job perpetrating this image of the crazy infertile. I understand that the normal, average infertile crying herself to sleep at night, or looking longingly at a newborn while trying to stifle tears does not a made for TV movie make. I get that. Boring! People want to see a wild eyed psycho infertile woman lying in wait to steal your child. She will slice your throat and rip your fetus right out of your womb. Now that is Lifetime worthy! But it is realistic? No! Does it happen? Yeah, it does. But the women that do this have problems so much deeper than infertility. Parents abuse their kids everyday but we don't assume all parents hurt their kids. Men murder their whole family but we do not assume that all will do this. So why do people make infertiles out to be the boogeyman?? Hey, maybe I should make and market the Crazy Infertile Halloween costume! Comes with a fake baby bump and machete.

So to all of you fertiles, it is okay. You don't have to fear us. We won't hurt you or your little one. Hey, what is that over there? Look!! (snatches baby and runs.......)

It worked! It worked!!

Just a quick update on the cloth diaper stinkies: The aquarium ammonia remover WORKED!! Last night I used 2 different hemp liners and a Flip microfiber insert (all of which were really bad) and nothing. Nada! No burn your nose hair stinkies, not even up close and personal. WOOT!

It's that time of the month again!

No, not THAT time, but that time. ICLW time! For those of you that are scratching your heads, wondering what ICLW is, there is a link to the right. Click it. Go ahead. You know you wanna! It will take you to a place that explains it all better than I can.

For those stopping by from ICLW, welcome! Nice to meet you! I am Jess. I am also an infertile that also has a child now through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation. It took us 12 long years to have this little bit and we couldn't be happier. We just love her to pieces! But even though we have her now we are still infertiles. We will always be infertiles. And I am okay with that. We have been here so long I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I started popping out kids like a PEZ dispenser.

Currently we are not ttc, but hope to start again next year. But we have to start from scratch as our previous clinic closed. We are open to to whatever God has for us and pray that He will lead us to the right embryos. If that means travel to another clinic, great! Miracle's Waiting, we will take it. From a fellow blogger, sure! Wherever this journey takes us we will go! I just hope that it doesn't take another 12 years.

So if you wanna follow our journey, stick around. If you just find me interesting, I would love to have you too! Just click on that little follow tab at the top. And if you follow me, I follow you. Cause I am awesome like that!