On Friday I was wearing 4 Vivelle dot patches. When the nurse called to tell me that they cycle was cancelled she told me to remove all four of the patches at once and that AF would start in about 3-4 days. No big deal, right? Wrong! My hormones are all over the place. I am a crazy, schizo psychopath! Once minute I am fine, just enjoying the day. The next minute my head does a 360 spin and pea soup starts flying. And then I cry because I have no control. I am starting to get on my own nerves. And how do you get away from yourself?
I really hope that AF shows up soon so that this can start leveling off. Also, I think that the nurse said that I can start the patches again once that happens. But I was so upset when she called I can't remember if I was supposed to have a cycle and then start the NEXT cycle. So I will have to call tomorrow so that I can be prepared.
I am getting better about the whole canceled cycle thing. I am still not happy about it, but ready to get started again. I am tired of my life revolving around all of this. I had almost 2 years of just enjoying life and not feeling like I was jumping through hoops just for the chance of trying for a baby. Being on this roller coaster again is not something I missed. And it is a bad time to do this as almost every woman of childbearing age at church is pregnant right now. One just had baby #4, one is pregnant with baby #4, and two are pregnant with baby #5. Another just had baby #8. Yeah, it is a fertile place. For the fertiles, anyway. And this is a small church of less than 200 peeps. I am yet again the one that is left out. And if we are successful I will be the last one again. When I had Maddie I was the last of 5 woman to have a baby in a 5 month period. By the time my shower came around people were so over showers.
I am trying to shake off this moodiness and get things ready for the next go round. And prepare my heart in case it is yet again canceled. I am so over infertility!!!