Maddie had an appointment with an ENT this past week. She has had 5 ear infections is less then 4 months. This means that she has been on antibiotics a total of 50 days in 4 months. That is insane! We barely get a week between stopping antibiotics and her next infection. And yes, the antibiotics are working because her follow up appointments show no infection. And then BAM, she gets another one. Before this last one I had scheduled her to see my chiropractor and still plan on taking her, but at this rate I don't feel that we have many options. She is getting tubes on the 22nd. I had really wanted to avoid surgery but I feel that to wait is putting her health at risk. I do not want to risk her hearing by delaying surgery. Also, I hate for her to be on antibiotics so often. She currently has a nasty yeast infection from this latest round. We are still going to see the chiropractor and if we see an improvement we may delay the surgery, but I doubt that we can avoid it altogether.
While at the appointment they were asking about a family medical history. This has come up once before when she saw the neurologist and I have to remind myself that her and I do not share a medical history. I explained to the nurse that she was a result of a donated embryo and gave her what medical history I knew. This gave the nurse pause. She had to fill in whether I was the biological mother and did not know how to answer. She asked a few more questions and decided to put me as the bio mom.
Later another nurse was setting up the surgery and she mentioned several times how Maddie looked just like me. I laughed and said "Ironic, isn't it?" thinking that she was amazed by the resemblance because she had read on the chart that Maddie was a product of EA. This was not on the chart so she was confused by my comment so I had to explain. I say "had to" but really I mean "got to" as I love sharing Maddie's story. I am happy to give infertility a voice and to introduce people to the concept of EA. Though EA has gotten more exposure and is not completely unheard of, it is still one of those sci-fi sounding procedures to most people. The nurse was curious and asked some questions and congratulated me on my little miracle. I love opportunities like this! I am always happy to share with others that show a genuine interest. I have had several people ask for contact info for either myself or for clinics or have asked for websites about EA wanting to pass it along to someone or because they themselves are interested in pursuing EA.
Though I enjoy telling Maddie's story I do wonder if that will change as Maddie gets older. I don't want her defined by her conception, but I also don't want her ashamed. As much as I want to educate people about EA and infertility I don't want to do so at my daughter's expense. I do know that had we used donor egg or donor sperm I would not be nearly as quick to share. Not because of shame as I would have none, but those options are much more common in that people know about it and understand it. EA is different and still confuses some. Navigating the land of EA brings questions and situations that I just don't know the answer to. So I ask you all, what do you think? Should there come a time that I not be so free with telling people? Or should I still discuss it but maybe not in front of Maddie once she begins to understand? I still have a few years before she understands anything at all about this, but I like to be prepared.