Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

six years have gone by....

Since I said good-bye to Abbie. For those unfamiliar with the story we were in the process of trying to adopt a baby girl, Abbie. We brought her home from the hospital when she was but 3 days old. She was a tiny thing at 6lb, 12oz. We loved her immediately, though I kept my heart reigned in a bit as the situation was tentative at best. (loooooong story!). This was January 2005 and on April 16th of that same year we drove 2 hours away to hand her over to a different family. One that would care for her until her mother was released from prison (7 years left on sentence, released when Abbie was 2 1/2). Handing her over, saying good-bye....it was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Something that I never want to do again. We were able to visit her one last time that August when she was 8 months old. Now that Maddie is 8 months old I see similarities in them, things that they both do. What I remember most about that last visit was that Abbie came right to me, no hesitations. That was what I feared the most, that she would be afraid of me. But she wasn't. She even gave us both hugs and kisses. It is a memory that I will always treasure.

Though it was a difficult day to remember, Maddie eased some of that pain. It will never be completely gone but each year it gets less and less. Saturday I was not ready to talk about her but today I felt the need to acknowledge her and the day that she left us. I miss you and love you, little Abbie!!!


  1. Thinking of you Jessica.I can't imagine what you had to go through.I get emotional thinking about it.Hugs to you.Sounds like you have good memories.What a blessing Maddie is.:)

  2. Thinking of you...that must've been so hard!!!

  3. i remember reading your story long ago. my, how far you've come since then... and yet, the pain is still palpable.

  4. I can't imagine the pain of giving up to someone else that baby you loved. I'm glad that she had you to take care of her.

  5. I cannot imagine. That must have been so difficult for your family to go thru. But what a lucky little girl to have such love like that.

    Thinking of you,
    Elaine, lfca


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