six years have gone by....

Since I said good-bye to Abbie. For those unfamiliar with the story we were in the process of trying to adopt a baby girl, Abbie. We brought her home from the hospital when she was but 3 days old. She was a tiny thing at 6lb, 12oz. We loved her immediately, though I kept my heart reigned in a bit as the situation was tentative at best. (loooooong story!). This was January 2005 and on April 16th of that same year we drove 2 hours away to hand her over to a different family. One that would care for her until her mother was released from prison (7 years left on sentence, released when Abbie was 2 1/2). Handing her over, saying good-bye....it was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Something that I never want to do again. We were able to visit her one last time that August when she was 8 months old. Now that Maddie is 8 months old I see similarities in them, things that they both do. What I remember most about that last visit was that Abbie came right to me, no hesitations. That was what I feared the most, that she would be afraid of me. But she wasn't. She even gave us both hugs and kisses. It is a memory that I will always treasure.

Though it was a difficult day to remember, Maddie eased some of that pain. It will never be completely gone but each year it gets less and less. Saturday I was not ready to talk about her but today I felt the need to acknowledge her and the day that she left us. I miss you and love you, little Abbie!!!