Loving a child that is not genetically related

When we first discovered that we were infertile we decided to adopt. At the time it was an easy decision for us and we knew that we could love a child not biologically related to us (and we did). After 2 failed adoptions we set upon a different path and that was to have our own child, one genetically ours, so that we did not have to risk losing another child. It became very important to me to carry a baby and at that time I assumed that that meant one created from my eggs and hubby's swimmers. I had not yet learned of the miracle of embryo adoption. We tried to have a baby through IUI's and that did not work. So we had to go to Plan B, IVF. Well, Plan B was far out of our price range and we either had to give up or think about adoption again. My heart was still bruised and battered from previous experiences and I was not ready to try that again, nor was I ready to give up my dream of carrying a baby. Then I heard of Embryo Adoption, the best of both worlds! I could not only adopt, but I would be able to carry the baby as well. This meant that once I gave birth the baby was mine and no one could take her away from me. We were anxious to get started!!

We were very fortunate to have success on our first try. Once I was pregnant I began to think about the little miracle that I carried inside of me. What would she look like? What characteristics would she have? Would she have musical talent? Be athletic? Things that all moms-to-be think about, but for me it was different. I could not look at my baby pictures and imagine what my little one might look like. I began to feel some sadness that I would never look into my baby's eyes and see my hubby. She might now have curly hair which both hubby and I have. Then became concerned that maybe I couldn't love her the way that I would a biological child. I was not overly worried, but the thought was there.

Now that Maddie is here I can say with all honesty that none of that matters! Not at all!! She is 100% our baby regardless of what her DNA says. And ironically she has my nose (poor kid!) and looks a lot like hubby. People that know how she was conceived marvel at how much she actually looks like us. And in the morning I lay her in bed next to hubby while I take my shower and when I finish I walk over to pick her up and I will find the two of them laying in the same position, like mirror images. And to top it all off she is a chub chub like us! (again, poor kid!) So for anyone considering this family building option, I can tell you with complete certainty, you will love your little one completely.