Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

what if baby number 2.......

Maddie was from an anonymous donation and there are no embryos left. When we ttc for baby #2 we have to start over with a new clinic and new embryos. While I wish that Maddie would have a genetic sibling I am am at peace that it is not to be. However, I wonder what the next one will be like. Now, I know that I am biased, but let's be honest: Maddie is freaking adorable!!! And I can say this because it has nothing to do with me. She also has a pleasant disposition and a great personality. She has gorgeous hair and a perfect little mouth. What if baby #2 is, well, ugly? Or a whiny, crying, clingy baby that no one likes? Of course we all want beautiful babies with great dispositions, but that is not a concern for me personally. I will love any baby no matter what. But I have to say that I hate the thoughts of others comparing the two children and the second one falling short. And to say that won't happen is a lie. It happens all of the time. People are cruel. My own sister was the whiny, stringy haired, bratty little girl that no one liked. I was a chubby, curly haired, sweet little cherub that everyone adored. (A bit of a stretch, but you get the idea ;-) I remember people saying to my sister "Maybe you will be as pretty as Jessie when you grow up." It hurt to hear these things. It was cruel!! And my sister turned out gorgeous! She is a tall, leggy, thin blond while I an a short, rotund, brunette. SO take that, meanies!!!

I know that I can't control how my children, genetic or not, look or act, but I do think about it. I don't necessarily worry about though. Just think about it. Do you ever think bout this? Did you deal with this in your own family? Is it silly?? Or just a natural part of motherhood?


  1. We are in the same situation - there are no more embryos left from Liam's "batch". So I admit, I have had the same thoughts! I think my son is just perfect, and I am so afraid another baby would fall way short. DH even had a dream that we had another baby, but it was ugly! As you said, we will love our children no matter what. But I think people who have children the old-fashioned way have these same concerns, too. :)

  2. We didn't do embryo adoption, but we did adopt our son from Serbia last year. He's almost 7 now. He has adjusted so well that many folks are shocked that he hasn't been with us all his life (good behavior and he looks just like hubby). We are in the process to bring home a little sister from Bulgaria and I am expecting it to go differently. We got way too lucky with our first to not have a whiney one this time around. I don't think that makes me a bad mom...just a realistic one. Of course, if she ends up being just as sweet, I will not complain. :)

  3. I think that this is totally normal! I went through the same thing when we adopted #2! I kept saying "Well, the 2nd one had better be cute, because #1 is ADORABLE!" I was totally worried about it... lost sleep over it. But when I saw our 2nd baby's pic for the first time it was love at first sight! I think God has it all worked out and has a perfect match for you and your family! :)


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