**Please read the whole post before you respond!!**
Last year I was listening to the Delilah Christmas show on the radio. She had listeners calling in to tell a heart touching story, something about their lives. A woman called in and told of how she and her hubby had adopted. Immediately I tuned in to listen to what she had to say. She and her hubby had 3 children and they had always had a heart to adopt, wanting to provide a home for a child in need. Once they were done having their own children they decided to adopt a newborn. They had a good relationship with the birth mother and had a very positive experience. Delilah went on to say how "selfless" this family was to have adopted.
Today I read another story about a woman that wants to adopt because she thinks that adoption is great. She is trying to convince her hubby to adopt instead of having another child themselves.
Both of these stories have gotten to me to think about the couples that choose to adopt. Most couples/people that pursue domestic infant adoption are couples that suffer from infertility. Though I do not know the statistics I think that international adoption and domestic adoption of older children are done by both infertiles and fertiles. What I had not thought of was that fertiles are adopting domestic infants.
After hearing these two stories I am not really sure how I feel about it. Should fertile couples be "allowed" to adopt infants domestically? Legally, yes, of course! But morally? One of the couples mentioned giving a good home to a child in need, but does that really apply to an infant? Are there not enough families waiting right now? The families waiting far exceed the infants that are available. And let's be honest, adopting a newborn is not exactly altruistic. There is a bit of selfishness involved in wanting a newborn. Now don't misunderstand, I am in no way saying that wanting to adopt an infant is selfish at all!!! But there is a difference in adopting a newborn as opposed to an older child, a special needs child or internationally. Those children are the ones in need and the goal there should be to help them and provide a home for them. And there are many, many waiting children that are not "healthy newborns".
As an infertile I want to say that fertile couples should not be allowed to adopt infants domestically. If your reproductive parts work and you have healthy pregnancies and have no known genetic issues, should you not have your own? Why take from those that are unable to have a baby? Or, if you want to help a child in need, should they not adopt internationally? Or a child in the foster care system? But then I wonder if I am just letting the pain of infertility overshadow my thoughts on the subject.
So what are your thoughts on the subject?