On the Pill

Tomorrow I start birth control pills. Last time I took them it was in preparation for our FET. This time is for an entirely different reason: Mittelschmerz. For those not familiar with the term it is just some fancy schmancy word for ovulation pain. And pain is not the word for it, either. I have stage IV endo and this ovulation pain has been worse that my period. Yeah, that bad! Last month I packed a bag for Maddie because I was sure that we would be dropping her off at my sister's on our way to the ER. Thankfully, two Percocet later, it finally stopped. But it left me with the painful reminder that my reproductive organs conspire against me and refuse to work correctly. It also left me with the fear that my endo and PCOS will make getting pregnant again even more difficult. So BCPs, here I come!

There are two things that I really dread about starting these little pills. The first is that they give me migraines. Horrible migraines. But only for about 3 months and then my hormones level off and I feel much better. The second is that it will keep me from getting pregnant naturally. I know! I know! After 12 years the odds of us conceiving on our own are nonexistent. But I liked the thoughts that I would miraculously get pregnant one month without doctors, needles and drugs. And now I feel like I am making that impossible. Yet I know that with God all things are possible and if He wants us to get pregnant it will happen, pills or no pills. So tomorrow it begins.........birth control pills........BLEH! But hey, at least I will be ready when we start our next FET, right??