Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Does being infertile make me a better mother?

I would have to say that yes, it does. Now, stop heating the tar and put down the feathers and read the rest of this before you attack! Yes, I do think that being an infertile makes me a better mother. But better than whom? Better than a crack whore? Obviously! Better than a 16 year old that leaves her baby with anyone and everyone to go out and party? Certainly. Better than a fertile? Um, no! Better than some, yes. Just see the aforementioned examples. It also makes me better than the fertile me. The 12 years that I saw negative pregnancy tests, suffered countless tests and surgeries, and watched all of my friends have several babies taught me a lot about myself. Had I had a baby 11 years ago I would have been a good mom, just like any fertile. But I was young and immature and a bit selfish. These years have taught me to relax a bit and to appreciate what I worked so hard to achieve. Infertility made me a better person therefore a better mother.


  1. I agree! I too am an infertile that had twin girls via DE IVF after trying to get pregnant for 15 years. I know the experience has made me more mature (and age too of course!). I treasure these girls, and I'm not quite as uptight or selfish as I was in my 20s & 30s (I'm 40 now). I very much enjoy your blog. Thanks for the post.

  2. I agree. If I would have had Cody and then Cami when I was 25 or younger I don't know what kind of mom I would have been or if I would hvae been able to handle Cami's medical issues. Infertility (and age) has taught me a lot. Do I love infertillity? Of course not. It made me hate myself for a long time- but it did make me appreciate my kids more.

  3. I'm not sure "better" is the best word...maybe more appreciative and attentive. I will definitely not take my kiddos for granted!

  4. While I haven't gone as far down the IF road as you, but I think the sttruggles we faced have made us better people too. And perhaps just a wee bit more appreciative of what we've been given. Maybe.



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