I love a good debate, especially when it is about infertility and fertiles are involved. I love how some fertiles love to give advice or have opinions about infertility. Kind of ironic. Like me giving weight loss advice.
A recent debate/discussion I jumped in on was in regards to fertility treatments. Someone claimed that it was selfish to do fertility treatments when there are so many kids waiting to be adopted. They also said that God must want you to adopt or you wouldn't be infertile. This must be easy to say when you are surrounded by your three littles. I could not help but to reply with the following:
First, if I should not try fertility treatments until all the adoptable children have forever homes then the same thing should apply to fertiles. Why should they have babies when there are children still waiting? God never said that only an infertile couple should adopt.
Second, if infertility meant that we are to adopt, then diabetes means that were are supposed to die. Just because someone suffers from a disease or an illness does not mean that we are not to explore our options. Medical science has allowed us to live longer, healthier lives. It has also allowed us to treat non-life threatening issues such as infertility. Does it make me selfish to do treatments? Maybe. But is is wrong? I don't think so.
Now don't get me wrong, I am very pro-adoption. But I do not believe that adoption is right for everyone, especially adopting older children. To adopt just to adopt is wrong. You must have a place in your heart for these children as they all come with some sort of hurt. They deserve a home filled with love and parents filled with patience. Not everyone is equipped to handle it. I think that my hubby and I are able to handle it and hope to one day be able to do so, but that does not erase my desire to have a baby. We hope to be able to do embryo adoption one more time and then move onto foster care adoption. Why wait, you ask? Because it will be easier to adopt when I am 38 than it will be for me to get pregnant. And if we were to have multiples I need to be at a place where I am not overwhelmed and can devote enough time an attention to a child that needs it.
So what do you think? Should infertiles adopt the children that are still waiting instead of pursuing treatments? Are we just being selfish? Share your thoughts!