Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Monday, March 17, 2014

If only I could meet "them", the genetic parents


I saw this on my Facebook news feed today and I didn't have to think twice. I knew immediately who I would choose and it would be Maddie's genetic parents. At the very least her mother. What I wouldn't give for one hour, or even one minute to just say thank you for the gift of Madison Grace. To learn about them. To be able to share that information with Maddie one day. Each and every day I thank God for her and I would love to thank her genetic parents for giving us the chance to be parents.

Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets about doing anonymous embryo donation. Honestly, I don't. How can I regret something that brought me my greatest gift? However, I wish that there was some openness available. Now that the clinic is closed there is no opportunity to meet the people that made Maddie possible. That hurts, I won't lie. And now that we have Olivia due in less than 8 weeks I will wish for a way to contact her genetic family as well. This is not completely off the table as the clinic is still operating, but her genetic family was adamant that the embryos be placed out of state only and I am afraid that they will never want contact even if the option were to be available. It pains me to have to tell my girls that another family is out there sharing their DNA, a family that they may never know. All I can do is hope and pray that we love them enough and give them the security that they need and that one day they will know the love that led them to us and not just the loss. I understand that they will be curious and want to know that part of themselves, but I pray that it is not from a desire to feel loved and connected, but because it is natural to wonder.

So whoever and wherever you are, Maddie's genetic family, I hope that you know that this little girl is loved beyond words and that we are eternally grateful for the gift of her. And for Olivia as well. My two treasures.

4 comments:

  1. Such beautiful gifts... Amazing

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  2. You are an amazing mom and while I'm sure it's natural to be curious, there is no doubt that they were brought to you with so much love from all families. <3 <3 <3 I'll pray that perhaps someday your paths will cross!

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  3. As someone who has pursued both anonymous and known egg donors, and a known embryo adoption relationship, I get this.

    I would have preferred a known egg donor, but we didn't end up going that way.

    Were the embryos only donated to you or was there more than one family involved? If so, you could consider registering on the donor sibling registry.

    I'm hoping too that my DE baby doesn't go through hard times because of their conception. I'm planning to tell them of their conception very early in the hopes that it will just become part of their story, a no-big-deal type of thing.

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  4. Thanks for sharing this, Jess! I'm Heather and I was hoping you could answer a question about your blog! My email is Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com :-)

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