Tomorrow is my laparoscopy. I am not really nervous, but really hoping that it is a simple procedure and nothing more is found. I feel like I have been in the vicious cycle of what can go wrong, will go wrong. I could use a break! I had a moment today of fear. I never had it before and this is my 5th or 6th surgery. Something about having a child now makes me think about the actual dangers of going under and not waking up. Today I took a few minutes to write down the info I have on her genetic parents. The clinic has since closed and no one knows what I know (general idea of where they live, occupation, etc). My nurse would give small non identifying tidbits and I remembered every one of them. If I die, that information dies with me. I couldn't live with myself if I took that to my grave and Maddie never had it if she wanted to look for them one day. I know, it is morbid, but I had to do it. She will always know that I loved her as everyone can share that with her. But this was something that no one else could do for her.
Now, onto brighter things! I finished painting my counter tops. I lurve them!!!! Here are photos and instructions if anyone wants to see them: Counter tops