If we lived in a perfect world where all uteruses worked, all eggs of excellent quality floated down the fallopian tube each and every month, and all spermies were present and accounted for happily swimming upstream....How many littles would you have had? What were your original plans back when you were blissfully naive? Would you have had a house full? Just one or two? Nineteen like you-know-who? And now that your dreams and plans have hit the roadblock we fondly call infertility has that number changed?
For us we had "planned" at least 3 children but would have had up to 5 if we could afforded to have that many. I still want three. I am not really sure why, I just picture three kiddos. Maybe because I grew up in a home with three? I don't know. I do know that if we do not have twins the next time that the likelihood of three is slim to none as I will be at least 35 (though closer to 36) when the next one is born and that is best case scenario. That would mean being 38+ for #3. Not unheard of. Not really all that old to have a baby, but it is too old for me. I would prefer not to have a baby that late. I am soooooo tired at 34 that I just don't see being 38 and doing this again. But you never know, I just might! It all depends on how FET #2 goes. And when it happens.
My husband always wanted to stop at three while I wanted at least four, so we agreed that we would stop at three unless we had three boys or three girls in a row. Then we would go for four to try and get at least one of each gender.
ReplyDeleteNow we just desperately want one of either gender. Two would be an amazing blessing. I never wanted to have an only child just because I know what a precious blessing siblings can be, but if one is all God gives us, I won't complain.
My fear is that we won't be blessed with any children at all.
If God does miraculously open my womb and make us fertile, though, I think we'll take as many as God gives us. I can't imagine saying no to the possibility of pregnancy and children ever again.
I always pictured 2, a boy and a girl. Now I would like to have 3 girls (don't ask me why) but I know my hubby wants a boy. Realistically, we will probably adopt another one and then if God decides to give us a miracle... bring it on!
ReplyDeleteI was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure as a teenager, so we always knew any child would be a blessing and a miracle. When a was very little I always said I wanted red headed twin girls. Since I don't have red hair and twins don't run in the family, my odds of achieving this childhood ambition are higher thanks to infertility and embryo adoption. Though now that we have our first little miracle, I'm not sure we could handle twins.
ReplyDeleteWell when we were dating and talking kiddos we had originally said three. There was a time that I thought we would never have one, but thankfully through the blessing of adoption our dreams came true. Now with that said I would love love love to have at least one more, however financially we cannot afford another adoption or any more fertility treatments, so more than likely our family is complete.
ReplyDelete3...but with everything we have to go through it might just be our little girl. We are going to try for a sibling but with finances and such a new cycle is out of the question. we have 1 embryo left for our FET, and then sadly we are done. :(
ReplyDeleteWhen I was "really" young...like adolescent...I swore I wanted an even dozen...by my 20's...I could have done up to 4 easily. In my 30's I was divorced and facing life alone so thought one child on my own would be GREAT...and then I met Mr. wonderful (who sadly came with severe MFI)...but that didn't stop us...Thank you IVF with ICSI...so at 40...we had one miracle baby and thought we would be complete with our blessing...but just 9 months in...I was longing for another and really wanted a sibling for him...but by then I was nearing 42and we didn't have another $40k to try for another with our own goods....so after a year of options and research...we came upon embryo adoption and were blessed with our daughter in Nov 2011! So...TWO....TWO is now the magic number. We are sooo happy and sooo complete and rediculously tired...but it is worth it! I really wish I would have been younger...I'm 44 now and really feel like I need to stay in tip top shape to keep up with these kids....but don't worry...if you do have a child when you are older...you will find a way to do it!
ReplyDeleteTwo.
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted and thought I would have two. In my seventh grade year I went from being the oldest of two to the oldest of five because of family circumstances, we got custody of my cousins as toddlers/preschoolers and they were raised as my siblings. I can tell you that with that many kids, life (laundry, outings, etc) often is impersonal and resembles an assembly line. It's not for me.
Now, I'd be so very happy if one little baby would call me mommy.
As a 43 year old mother, holding our 6 day old baby, if we could go back, and never have had Rhea's vasectomy, we would have had at least 2 more kiddos in that gap if God allowed. The 6 miscarriages would have brought us more kiddos and yes, even at 43, and yes, even though I can get tired, I would be honored if the Lord blessed us with more children, adopted or from my womb, or both!
ReplyDeleteMy husband used to always joke when we talked about how many kids to have that he wanted "As many as are biologically possible!" The words seems very ironic and sad, as biologically possible has not been the scores of children he imagined. More recently we have said we would love two girls and two boys- four kids. Even though we are working so hard and praying so hard for even just one- I still find it in my heart to pray for lots of kids.
ReplyDeleteI really don't remember how many I thought we should have. But, I wish I could have as many as I could.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted 4. At least one of each. But if we are living in a perfect world, I would have loved to had given birth to a boy first then a girl,a boy then girl. I'm too old for 3 more kiddos, but my Sweet AJ would be an awesome big brother. It would be nice to give him a sibling before I get too much older.
ReplyDeleteI am the oldest. I always wanted a big brother.