For years pregnancy announcements were like daggers through my heart. I hated to hear them. Hated pasting a smile on my face while congratulating the couple. Hated the envy and jealousy I felt each time. Once I was pregnant it got a bit better, but it still hurt. Yes, I have my miracle, but it was not easy to get there. It is still hard to watch others conceive so effortlessly while so many of us struggle for years and years. But there are times that I am able to truly rejoice with a couple that is pregnant and today is one of those days.
Good friends of ours found out today that they are expecting. They have been married for a year and a half and to most people it will seem that it was easy for them. But I know the truth. I know that they began testing after 6 months and were dealt a hard blow finding that they both had issues and IVF was their only options. I held her hand through finding a doctor and helping her understand this journey called infertility. I encouraged her when she found out how much IVF was going to cost. I waited for her text to find out if they had been approved for a loan to pay for IVF. I anxiously waited to hear how the retrieval went, how many eggs she had, how many fertilized, and for the transfer to be complete. Then I prayed for her during her 2WW, texting back and forth as she experienced all of the crazy emotions. And today I sat by the phone waiting for the news. And it was good news. And I cried tears of pure joy.
No, they didn't have years and years of waiting. No, there were no losses. But their pain was the same. Her hopes and desires were the same as mine. She just got the finish line a bit faster than I did. And I couldn't be happier for them!! It felt good to feel so much happiness and joy for another couple that is pregnant. Had they not experienced infertility I hope that I would have felt the same way, but I am not sure. I love them dearly and hope that I would have. I hope that I have grown as a person and a Christian enough to be happy for others even when it hurts me. But I can't be certain. They were so incredibly supportive of us that I think that I would rejoiced regardless. And I do know that I am not jealous of her. Just happy. Now to pray her through the next 9 months!