Our journey through infertility, failed adoptions and now parenthood through the miracle of embryo adoption/donation.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

disagreement does not equal uneducation

So often I read debates where people disagree with one or both telling the other that they are uneducated. Why do some people assume that my choices (and "my" is general here) are uneducated just because they differ from yours? (again, "yours" is general and not directed at anyone specific) Did it ever occur to the other person that I did research certain things before making a decision? Here are a few issues that I have educated myself before making my decisions.

Medicated birth: yes, I know that epidurals carry risks. Yes, I still got one. I felt that the risks were minimal and the benefits far outweighed said risks. Medical science has found a way to minimize the horrific pain of child birth and I planned to take advantage of it. For me it ended up being a moot point as I had to have a c-section after 36 hours of labor.

Formula feeding: I really, really, really wanted to breast feed. I felt it the best choice for my child. However, this was not to be. After Maddie had jaundice and we made the educated choice to supplement she was not too keen on drinking from the tap. I pumped and continued trying for 3 weeks but was fighting a constant migraine. The two compounded made for a very frustrated, unhappy mommy. I made the educated choice to switch to formula. It was best for me and my child.

Hormonal birth control: I have 2 differing views on this one. If I were fertile I would make the choice not to use it as it is an abortifacant. With that said I do not believe that the decision not to use it is for everyone. For some it is clearly the best choice. The risks outweigh the benefits. Even strong pro-life people can use hormonal birth control and still be very pro-life. The chance of it actually causing a spontaneous abortion is very small. About the same as drinking caffeine causing a miscarriage. Sometimes you have to weigh it all and make the best decision you can. Now, as for other uses I do use hormonal birth control. I prefer the side effects to the pain of endometriosis. I also want to protect my fertility as much as I can and BCPs allow me to do this. Yes, there are risks, but not enough to dissuade me.

Vaccines: This one was one I really studied. I do not like the idea of injecting my daughter with all of the garbage in these vaccines at all. But I also don't like the thought of lowering my child into a grave either. if the majority of parents did not choose to vaccinate we would be seeing a huge increase in many treatable diseases. I am sure that 100 years ago the thousands upon thousands of people that died from what are now almost nonexistent disease would have loved to have the option of a vaccination that could have saved their lives. Do I wish that they would separate some of the shots? Yes. Do I wish that it did not contain unnecessary chemical? Obviously! But these did not deter me from making an educated decision to vaccinate my child. Do I criticize or think someone else is stupid for choosing not to? No. Just as you should not think the same of me.

We live in a day and age where we have options and choices. We have a vast amount of information at our fingertips and should ALL take the time to educate ourselves before making decisions. But just because we differ does not make my decision one of uneducation, just one of a differing opinion.


  1. I understand what your saying, but the risk of birth control causing a baby to die is much higher. I'm sorry but it is not right for some. Killing never is. I do think most people are uneducated, not in the sense they are stupid, they just don't know all the facts about some things. Also about vaccines, most people that have damaged kids from them, did not know any info on them before their child got them. That is why people are speaking out about them, they want people to weigh the risk. The people that make the vaccines can't even tell you how they affect your body. Just sharing my opinion, and you're right everyone has a right to one, and to research for them self.

  2. EXACTLY! I hate when others judge my parenting decisions. I am an educated adult making the best educated decisions for my child.

    Great Post!

  3. I totally love this post and agree with you 100%!!!!! And I have a child who had a bad reaction to a vaccine yet I still believe they are necessary to a degree. I have made the educated decision to continue with certain vaccines and just avoid the one she reacted to...but I also choose not to do certain ones like the chicken pox because I don't feel that her getting chicken pox is life threatening and we will just take that chance. So...as parents, it is good that we have these choices, it is just not so good that others feel they need to tell us what choices to make.


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